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Stars: They're Nothing Like Us (Thanksgiving Edition)

This week is an easy one. Thanksgiving is right around the corner, which means all the turkey, stuffing, and pumpkin pie I can handle. And for the rest of the weekend: pumpkin pie for breakfast, turkey sandwiches for lunch, and a big pile of assorted left-overs for dinner. Mmmm.... Plus all the napping you get to do with as a result of that tryptophan coma. But most of all, as Thanksgiving Day approaches I am starting to make my list of things I'm thankful for.

1) I'm thankful that Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are finally off the market

I'm not generally a big fan of young marriages, but in this case I'm willing to make a big exception for two people who really, really gross me out. Heidi and Spencer eloped in Mexico last week, much to the relief of everyone (and by everyone, I mean me). Finally, two of the biggest publicity whores on the planet are singing their swan song. Yeah, we're all going to have to hear about the surprise wedding for the next couple of weeks, but after that, I predict a lot of silence from the couple. For two people who don't really have careers outside of trying to get attention from the media, marriage is suicide. Maybe they don't realize it now, but what is going to keep our attention after this? A baby? I don't think so - they're married and of age. A divorce? Perhaps - but who would date either of them after that? They totally deserve each other. Yes, I have high hopes we will have to hear a lot less from Heidi and Spencer from now on.

2) I'm thankful that I don't have a dumb name

Bronx Mowgli Wentz. That is seriously what Pete and Ashley decided to name their newborn son. What's worse is that they announced his name on the Ryan Seacrest radio show - you know how I feel about Ryan Seacrest. Of course, they aren't the first celeb couple to give their kid a weird name (I'm looking at you, Gwyneth Paltrow). I've got to say, as much as I'd enjoy the inheritance aspect of being the child of a celebrity, I can be thankful that I my parents didn't feel the need to give me a stupid name just to be different or cool or something. Okay, back up a sec. I'm mostly thankful that my dad wasn't in some crappy emo pop band and my mom wasn't a talentless pop star who makes a ton of money...actually, that might have been pretty cool. Regardless, I'm not named Apple or Butterfly or Manhattan or some other name that most people reserve for places, things, or pets. I can be thankful for that.

3) Finally, I am thankful that I don't need MTV to clear my name

I feel like Britney Spears is the girl who cried comeback - she's had at least 3 or 4 in the past couple of years. How many "comebacks" does one person get? Not to mention, I don't think it counts if you haven't actually left the industry. And certainly, a comeback should speak for itself. It shouldn't have to be laid out for people explicitly in, say, a documentary film. Don't get me wrong, I most certainly will be requesting that my cable-subscribing friends record the new Britney Spears MTV documentary for me, it's just that I think she's had enough press regarding a comeback. I'd like to see more results and less whining about the "comeback" title. In general, I'm pretty thankful I'm not Britney Spears. Here's a little sample of what the Spears Comeback '08 looks like:

Happy Blogsgiving, everyone!

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  1. Anonymous Anna | 10:28 AM |  

    Is it just me or did Ashlee Simpson incubate that baby for about sixteen months? Whatever. I'm no longer even interested when celebrities name their children things like "Refrigerator" and "Sonar." When somebody names their kid "Charles" or "Jessica," I might have more of a reaction.

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