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Stars (and Psuedo-Stars): They're Nothing Like Us

It's usually around this time of year that everyone is starting to feel pretty good. Winter hasn't quite set in yet. The holidays are coming up. You basically get a free pass to eat whatever the hell you want. You get to spend time with your family, and you get a lot of presents. And it's times like these, when you're feeling pretty good about yourself, that I think it's important to point out all the differences between you - Joe Six Pack - and famous people. For better or worse, here are three reasons why you're different from those sexy, sexy people you see on TV:

1) They're Allowed to Label Babies as "Hot"

Ok. It's not quite as sick as the totally inappropriate title suggests, but Forbes list of "Hollywood's 10 Hottest Tots" is still pretty bad. The list ranks celebrities' kids (under 5 years old) based on how popular they are in the media, though, a lot of it has to do with how popular their parents are - duh. Of course, as anyone could have guessed, Suri Cruise is number one since she's "known for her stylish outfits and haircut." How a 2-year-old could be credited for her sense of style, don't ask me, but clearly she's unknowingly got the media wrapped around her finger. Or maybe that's because her parents are kind of nuts. BTW, Katie Holmes is looking O-ld! I feel like we were just seeing her in films looking all Joey from Dawson's Creek not too long ago. Now she's got a mom haircut and bags under her eyes. She's like one of those people who turns 30 and looks like what a 8-year-old envisions 30 to look like.

Back to the babies. I feel kind of bad for the three (out of the six) Jolie-Pitt kids who didn't make the list. Hope they don't grow up with complexes about not being cool. Same thing with Britney Spears' second son. Well, he'll be screwed up enough. Making Forbes list is probably the last thing he'll worry about. What I think is most shocking about this story, though, is how many resources went into determining which celeb kid is the hottest. Forbes did a ton of research, hired a polling firm, and spent tons of money - as if readers would actually know the difference between a well-researched list and a completely b.s. one. That's what I'd call irresponsible excess spending. Trim the fat, Forbes!

2) People Try to Get Them in Trouble

I never get sick of Kanye gossip. And neither does the rest of the world. And because of this, Kanye West has a huge problem. Cameras assault him everywhere he goes. Now, some celebrities love the camera and are always welcoming the paparazzi. Others, try to hide or run or ignore them. Then there are the celebs who try to take the paparazzi on themselves. These people usually end up getting sued or arrested, just like Kanye did last weekend. Of course, Kanye is known for his spats with the media, which is why it didn't come as a surprise that he was accused of assaulting a photographer. But after he was arrested, they found out that the accuser is nothing more than the boy who cried wolf - apparently he has falsely accused other celebrities. Poor Kanye. When will he get a break?

3) They Will Carol At Your House For Free

Most people who Christmas carol these days are lucky if their neighbors even answer the door, much less, keep it open and actually listen to you sing. What I'm saying here, is that usually it is the caroler who is seeking out someone to perform for, but there is one guy who is turning the tables around. Julian Koster, founder of The Music Tapes and formerly of Neutral Milk Hotel (you know, the band that's always cited as an influence for indie rock bands even though they only made two albums - albeit, amazing ones), is asking YOU to invite him and his band to carol at your house. They're traveling all across the country on their caroling tour, and they'll be here in Minneapolis on Wednesday! Read all the instructions carefully on their website. Blog-u-readers, this could be your chance for a real, live, pseudo-celebrity to attend a party at YOUR house! That's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Take it.

I actually think this idea is genius. Logistically, it would only work with an indie rock band, but it would be a great concept for a bigger act who was willing to put in the time. First, it's uber-personal, which is what we're all craving in this mass-consumer, materialistic world. You just can't make someone feel more special than giving them a little face time. Second, caroling just doesn't happen as often as it should. In this world full of Scrooges, where's the holiday spirit these days? We need someone to bring it back. And finally, no one else is doing it. It's unique. Great idea, guys. Bra-vo!

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  1. Blogger qualler | 7:57 AM |  

    Whoa, I thought that the pic of Katie Holmes was, at first, Maggie Gyllenhaal. Who would have thought we'd see a day when Katie Holmes was mistaken for Maggie Gyllenhaal and not the other way around?

  2. Blogger chris | 11:58 AM |  

    Is that tiny camel standing next to Julian Koster real or fake?!?! It looks like it could be a real baby mini-camel! I'd like that to come caroling with them if possible.

  3. Blogger Lady Amy | 12:08 PM |  

    Oh, yeah. That's real. For sure. Silly, Chris, you have to work up a cult following before you can join them in the caroling. Plus, they're not getting paid for it so you've got to have the cash and the time.

  4. Blogger chris | 12:30 PM |  

    Actually I meant I wished the camel would go caroling with them. I don't want to go, it's cold out!

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