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Post 400 = Say Goodbye To Blogulator 2.0

...And get ready to say "What's crack-a-lackin'?" to Blogulator 3.0 this Monday MONDAY MONDAY! That's right, small sector of the Internet-using public, we might not have a Veep nominee to announce, but we have something even better: a new design, format, and web address for a Midwestern blog that complains about pop culture. Our changeover last year saw the highly publicized addition of five new bloggers, turning this once-a-week-if-that affair maintained by two pasty nerdos with glasses into a daily affair maintained by seven pasty nerdos (only three of them with glasses!). It was a wondrous occassion where talented folks with varied interests such as video games and girly TV shows brought an attractive quality to a blog that had previously been missing from the Blogulator.

This upcoming Labor Day, a day when our local and national labor organizations get championed by every common man and madam with haphazardly planned barbecues and sleeping in until noon, we will give you the ultimate version of what we (along with web genius cohort David) have labored toward from that very first "whoa, I have a blog" post when it was Qualler and myself becoming disenchanted with Nada Surf and Death Cab for Cutie. Well, it's a new academic year, Nada Surf and Death Cab for Cutie have both put out digestible (in the latter's case, quite good!) comeback albums, and we are excited to share with you the new Chris and Qualler's Pop Culture Blogulator. Check back on Monday for a new URL to add to your Google Reader, Del.icio.us bookmarks, or whatever gadget you use to check our coverage of movies, music, TV, and more. I promise you won't be disappointed.

In the pop cultural world of non-self-promotion, I'd like to briefly go over some recent movie rumors that have been blazing around Hollywood with little to no peanut gallery commentary from yours truly. It's quite astonishing that I've kept quiet about things such as Darren Aronofsky's (The Fountain, Requiem for a Dream, Pi) upcoming reboot of the Robocop franchise or Sam Raimi (Spider-Man) tickling horror geeks at this year's Comic-Con into thinking there might be an Evil Dead 4 on the verge of becoming a reality. The interesting thing about movie rumors is that there's no such thing as a good one. So let's take a quick gander at what has potential for [a] ruining my life (possibly in an entertaining way if I'm in a good mood upon release date), [b] ruining a previously awesome or terrible movie/series/source material, and/or [c] causing the apocalypse. Match the letters with the proclamation and follow along with me now...

[A] The incredibly plastic Keanu Reeves as Plastic Man, a Billy Joel concert documentary, Tobey Maguire as the lawyer in the Brown vs. Board of Education case, Tom Cruise producing and in a movie called Food Fight, Ashton Kutcher somehow convincing Kenneth Lonergan (the flawless You Can Count on Me) to collaborate with him on a film about fatherhood, Aaron Sorkin (The West Wing) making a movie about the invention of Facebook.

[A & B] Peter Berg (Hancock) directing a new Hercules movie without Kevin Sorbo, the great campy 80s flick Valley Girl being remade into a modern-day musical, Doug Liman (Swingers) tries to get a 4th Bourne movie in the works and doesn't care that Matt Damon's not interested because he says anybody could play the role, an incredibly unnecessary prequel for I Am Legend, Tim Burton attacking more children's lit with a live-action Alice in Wonderland, Bret Ratner (Rush Hour 1-84) remaking an obscure 80s horror movie called Mother's Day, a Conan the Barbarian remake, Alex Proyas (the gorgeous Dark City) doing a movie called Dracula Year Zero, America's attempt at their own Shaun of the Dead with Zombieland starring Woody "I'm quite benign and annoying simultaneously" Harrelson.

[A & B & C] The aforementioned new Robocop and potential Evil Dead 4 (why can't just one trilogy be left perfect?!), Tom Cruise trying to train a sassy new female flight school student and probably falling for her in Top Gun 2, a new Tron movie, a so unnecessary-it-hurts spin-off featuring Russell Brand's character from Forgetting Sarah Marshall, an effing Marvin the Martian movie, a remake of Rock 'n' Roll High School replacing The Ramones with Fall Out Boy, dear sweet Jebus why an Austin Powers 4, oh seriously just because you're making a Cars 2 you best not touch Ratatouille, a theatrically-released Goosebumps (yup, R.L. effing Stine) movie, a Candyman remake minus Tony Todd, a Poltergeist remake probably minus Craig T. Nelson, a Hulk-esque reboot of Superman Returns (which itself was a reboot, GARUMBLE!).

Which makes you consider suicide the most?

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  1. Anonymous Adam | 1:22 PM |  

    I've already begun re-reading the entire Goosebumps series in anticipation of this movie. This one can't miss. I mean, c'mon, its RL Stine, one of the great American writers, like John Steinbeck and Dan Brown!

  2. Blogger chris | 1:25 PM |  

    I remember wanting so bad to like the Fear Street books and ween myself off of Goosebumps when I hit like 12 or 13, because I wanted to at least grow up a little bit. But I couldn't get myself interested. I continued reading about mutant sharks, killer ventriloquists dummies, and alien classmates until a very inappropriate age.

  3. Blogger David Gerard | 11:59 AM |  

    I've done the poster for the Facebook movie.

  4. Blogger DanVogues | 7:56 PM |  

    congrats on the move to your own .com site, ya'll. i'm so happy for you all, i think i just shit my pants!

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