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Lollapaloozers!

Hey, blogditos, it's Sean with a post full of gripes. Last Friday I saw Radiohead at Lollapalooza in Chicago. Needless to say, the concert was a total blast. I was within fifty feet of the stage and they played a great set with two encores!
The concert would've been totally heaven if not for a few concert jerks that I comically call the Lollapaloozers! What concert would be complete without these folks?

1. Shirtless Guy: If it's a hot summer show at a music festival, there are bound to be a bunch of shirtless dudes. Being pressed against a bunch of sweaty strangers in a crowd of thousands is bad enough as it is, but when they're shirtless, too? Gross! Sweaty strangers creep me out. Wear a towel or something. Annoyance 3/5

2. The Dude that holds up his digital camera or cell-phone during a song: Way to go, guy, you're sure to capture some quality sound and picture. Can you make sure to upload it to YouTube? Because they don't have nearly enough crappy footage of concerts.. I'm being sarcastic. Boo to you. You obstruct my view! Annoyance 1/5

3. Girl Whose Friends Are Just Ahead: Oh, sure, I'll bet they are, yeah, pass on by. Uggh!! Getting skipped is the worst! I didn't sit out here in the sun five hours so some brat in a tube-top can skip ahead. Back of the line, turpentine! Annoyance 4/5

4. Stoners: Hey, I have a good idea! Let's bake out in the hot sun all afternoon, avoid drinking fluids, and then light up a fat J right before the show starts! Awesome idea!!! Too bad you'll get all dehydrated and freaked out and have to bail early. Wait, I guess I like you for that. You open up more room for me. Carry on. Annoyance -1/5

5. Would-be Stoners: Oh yeah, your the ones that suck! "Got any bud, man?" "You have any greens, dude?" No, I don't. And what makes you think I've got any dope with me? You dudes must really be desperate. Get a life! Annoyance 2/5

6. Sings All The Words Guy: What show would be complete without some tone-deaf moron singing along to every single lyric at the top of his lungs? Musical interlude? You better believe this guy knows how to sing the melody. "Da da da daa daa da da daa daaa daaah!" Don't know the lyrics? Just make 'em up! You're enjoying yourself. (Seriously, dude totally ruined "Paranoid Android" for me. Came in a half measure early on the "rain down"s. What a drag). Annoyance 5/5!!!!

Yeah, I'm overreacting and stuff, but still, those people are jerks. The show was pretty dang awesome. Even if Gogol Bordello sucked in the afternoon, and Bloc Party only played a mediocre set. Radiohead gets a thumbs up!

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  1. Blogger P. Arty | 9:22 AM |  

    I thought Gogol was a pretty decent time. I would never listen to them, but live they were energetic and entertaining.

    I'm glad you liked Radiohead. I was so far that it felt like I was watching it on TV. It sounded absolutely incredible, and looked great on a macro level, but I couldn't see the band at all. I think I should have skipped CSS. Sigh.

  2. Blogger P. Arty | 9:24 AM |  

    Oh, and your list of loozers is right on. Nothing's worse than being cut after you wait there for hours. Also bad: shoulder sitters, underage drinkers/smokers that think they are awesome, people who converse during the slow parts of an Explosions song, and so on and so on.

  3. Blogger Unspar! | 9:43 AM |  

    I saw Gogol Friday night at Metro. Considering they played a pretty nutso show in the afternoon, they definitely have endurance, cuz they went pretty nutso at night too. Energetic and entertaining yes, but it sounded really sloppy (maybe all punk shows sound sloppy--but usually I've listened to their music ahead of time so I can't tell) and (of course) I couldn't understand a word they were saying.

  4. Blogger Brigitte | 11:00 AM |  

    oh man, i HATE shirtless guy. and the line cutter girl. and all those people. now i'm angry without having seen the show. i like radiohead, though...

  5. Blogger Sean | 11:58 AM |  

    yeah, gogol b had endurance and energy and all that, but after three songs it became apparent that basically every song was just some uptempo gypsy crap with unintelligible lyrics and a lot of accordion.

    the green dancer girls were cute, i guess, in an eastern european way.

    we bummed cigarettes from people and ripped off the filters to use as ear-plugs. (it worked really well).

  6. Blogger chris | 1:42 PM |  

    Who else was enjoyable, Sean??? Or P. Arty, or Wipert if you're out there...did either of you see The Cool Kids, Girl Talk, or Saul Williams?

  7. Blogger Sean | 2:50 PM |  

    i was only there friday afternoon/night.

    i also saw the end of the yeasayer's set. it sucked.

  8. Blogger P. Arty | 9:28 AM |  

    Saul Williams was basically intolerable. Girl Talk was basically awesome, but I had to leave early to go see The National, which was probably a mistake. They were good and all, but I've seen them twice before. This seems to be the theme of the weekend.

    Speaking of Girl Talk, at the time I loved it. He threw in pieces of 15 Step and Paranoid Android, and I thought that was so awesome--tailoring the show to Lollapalooza. Then I actually listened to his album, and they're all on there. All he did was play his album, and every now and then add some weird effect to make it choppy or whatever. In hindsight it was weird seeing him "perform" on a normal stage (as opposed to the DJ tent), since he was basically just playing his recorded music. But really, it was just one big dance party, and it was a good time. I just wish I'd had more energy by that point.

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