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yeah i sat on a bed with a dude. what about it?

i recently received notice via a third party that someone said the blogulator is "stupid." thusly, i am proud to announce the blogulator's recent addition to the short list of things that are "stupid:"

-saying "yummy" instead of "cool"
-pageboy haircuts
-the "red orange" crayola crayon
-wolf blitzer
-chris and qualler's pop culture blogulator

now here come the concert reviews:


THE DECEMBERISTS: deow cowlin meloy, woy doyn't yow goys evoy chayonge yoy setloyst? surproyse! eyend woyth "the marinoy's revoynge soyng"!? playoy "16 militowry woyves" whoyn the croyd stoyts toyking toy moych!? i moyn serioysly, doy yoy hayate moy? i miyiss aoyll the shoyows befoyore picaresque and soyddenly yoy showoys becoyome predictoyble? oy to toyn bayack the cloyock to whoyn yoy shoyows woyere suppoysedly brayash and boymbastic! how i loyove thee decemboyrists, yeyet i cannoyt seeyee yoy at awyll at the croyded intoynation festoyval noyr foyst avoynue. loyckily, i coyt a gloympse of the droymmer's knee-sloypping groynd exoyt doyring the bloyssful encoyre of "i was moynt foy the stayage." doyamn yoy decoymboyists and yoy floywlessnoyss. i coyn't stoy moyd at yoy. teyell thoyt drummoyr i loyve hoym. sinceroyly, chroys.


THE MOST SERENE REPUBLIC: DEAR CANADA! I
AM SENDING YOU THIS VIA TELEGRAM BECAUSE IT IS QUITE URGENT! YOUR BAND THE MOST SERENE REPUBLIC IS FAR TOO IMPORTANT AND GROUNDBREAKING IN TERMS OF POP MUSIC TO FALL THROUGH THE CRACKS! THEIR RECORD CHANGED MY LIFE! THEIR LIVE SHOW SUCKED ASS! HOW CAN WE CHANGE THIS! THEY NEED TO KNOW THAT THEIR SPAZZ-TASTIC THEATRICS NEED TO STAY AT HOME AND THEY NEED TO CONCENTRATE MORE ON THEIR SPAZZ-TASTIC MUSIC! DON'T GIVE UP BUT DON'T GET TOO FULL OF YOURSELVES! CONFIDENCE IS POISON! (credit: p. arty) I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH! DRUMMER, YOU SHOULD BE DRUMMING, NOT RUNNING AROUND LIKE A GOON! SINGER, YOU SHOULD BE SINGING, NOT CLIMBING LADDERS! CANADA, DO NOT LET MORE CONCERTGOERS BRUSH OFF THE MOST SERENE REPUBLIC AS ANOTHER HYPE-POP BAND! MAKE THEM PLAY THEIR INSTRUMENTS BETTER! WE KNOW THEY CAN! I WILL BE LISTENING TO THE HEADPHONE MASTERPIECE UNDERWATER CINEMATOGRAPHER IN THE MEANTIME! PLEASE MAKE SURE THEY GET THIS MESSAGE! THE FUTURE OF POP MUSIC DEPENDS ON IT! SINCERELY, CHRIS!


AMERICAN ANALOG SET: dear amanset, iiii aaaaammm aaaaa ssssslllloooottthhhh. cccchhhrrriiisss iiiissss dddiiicccctttaatttiiinnnggg ttttoooo mmmmmeee. hhhheee sssaaayyyysss yyyyooouuuurrr ffflllaaawwwllleesss sssslllooowwccccooorrreee mmmuuusssiiiccc ddddeesssseeerrrvveeeesss tttthhheeee mmmmoooossstttt mmmmeeddddiiitttaaaattiiivveee fffaaannmmmaaaiiillll pppooosssiiibbblllleeee. yyyyyoooouuurrrr sssshhhooowwww aaaatttt ttthhheee vvvvaaarrrrsssiitttyyy wwwaaasss bbbyyy fffaaarrr ttthhheee mmmmooossstttt rrrreelllaaaxxxiiinnnggg eeeexxxxpppeerrriiieennnccee ooooffff hhhiiisss lllliifffeeee. iiiitttt mmmmiiiiggghhhtttt hhhaaavvveee bbbbeeennnnnnn ppppaaarrrtttiiiaaallllyyy bbbbeeecccaaauuussseeee tttthhheeerrrreee aaarrreee aaaaiiiirrrr mmmmaaaattttrrreeessseeeessss aaaattt ttthhheeee vvveeeennnuuueee, bbbuuuttt hhheeeee tttthhhiiiinnnnkkkssss tttthhhhaaaatttt wwwwwaaassss hhhhiiiissss fffaaattteeee. hhhheee ddddiiidddnnnn'tttt ssssooo mmmuuucccchhh wwwaaannntttt tttooo ffaaalll aaasssllleeeppp aaaattt yyyooouurrr sshhoooww aaasss hhheee wwaaanntteeeddd tttooo ssswwwwiimmm tttthhhrrrooouuuggghhh cccclllooouuuudddssss. tttthhhaaaannnkkkssss ttttooo yyyyooouuu aaannnddd yyyyooouuuurrr rrreeecccooorrrrddd sssseeetttt ffffrreeee
cccchhhrrriiiissss cccaaannn nnneeevvveerrrr wwoooorrrrryyyy aaabbbooouuuttt ffiiiggguuurrriiinnggg ooouuuttt hhhhooowww ttooo cccaallllmmm ddddooowwwnnnn. sssiiinnnccceerrreeelllyyy, aaa ssslllooottthhh.

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  1. Blogger DoktorPeace | 7:48 AM |  

    This is the most avant-garde post I've read in weeks. Months. Mystic cows.

  2. Blogger Dave | 10:46 AM |  

    Haha, I like it.

  3. Anonymous Anonymous | 2:32 PM |  

    you're not dumb.

    i'm sorry i said that.

    i live in paris.

    the end.

    oh, and um, as far as avant garde goes...i've seen better. (tosses hair)

    i love you!

    love brigitte

  4. Anonymous Anonymous | 2:33 PM |  

    also, your colin malloy impression is almost (ALMOST) as bad as your british accent....almost.

    ~Brigitte

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