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What if TV Shows Were Alcoholic Drinks?

You guys like to have booze while you watch TV? These are some drinks you can make at home to enjoy while watching your favorite shows. The drinks are named after the shows.

HBO's Girls: One part Kahlua, one part Vodka. Basically a White Russian (because that one character had one the one time), but don't bother putting any Kahlua in it. You do this to reflect how the real New York City doesn't have any Kahlua in it.

Game of Thrones: Flagon of red wine. Drink this while having sex (doggy-style), and discussing the history of Westeros/character back story/the latest political scandal at King's Landing.

* - with a twist - served the same way except the sex you have is with a blood relative. Eww.

Vampire Diaries: Just drink a ton of whiskey neat or whiskey on ice all the time, any time you are indoors. Add a sprig of vervain for flavor (and to build a resistance to its toxic effects).

Breaking Bad: Something that blends Southwestern USA with drugs, cancer, chicken, rock collecting, and lying to your spouse. Uhh, okay, umm, alright. An interferon-infused chemo'garita served in a hollow geode with meth on the rim. And you drink it after you eat a bucket of chicken, but don't you dare tell your wife about it. If she asks where you were just get naked in a store. Got it? Good.

Mad Men: Pretty much any drink you want to have as long as you are wearing a bunch of retro shit you ordered off Etsy. Do people still throw Mad Men parties? Is that still a thing? Or are we already pretending it's the 1970s? Forgive my coarse language, I had a few 'Vampire Diaries' with dinner. 

Modern Family: What is this show about? I don't watch it. Is it good? I don't care. For this drink just have a case of cold American beers. Because nothing says not giving a shit like drinking an entire case of cold American beers.

The Wire
: Drink all of the above then drive home. It's cool, don't worry. You're a cop. Please drink responsibly.

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  1. Blogger Sarc | 4:44 PM |  

    The Killing: Drink something called a "mind-eraser" at the beginning and the end of each day. That way nothing that's happened before will factor into your actions while trying to solve a murder. (This also works for Glee, but you'll have to drink at least every 5 minutes.)

  2. Blogger Sarc | 4:44 PM |  

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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