Kids Today: A conversation with OHD about Gossip Girl

Remember the AIM instant messenger, people? Well, my teenage brothers don't. These days it's all txting. Txting, tweeting, facebooking (do kids still do the facebook?)...rarely do we sit down with a friend an enjoy a conversation IRL (in real life...I just learned that one this weekend!). For those mid-twenty somethings, the virtual conversations seem to be happening through gchat, so it seemed appropriate to discuss this week's (somewhat disappointing) episode of Gossip Girl with OHD over gchat and report back to my fellow bloggers. It's like you're evesdropping on our virtual conversation! And since much of the news on GG travels electronically, enjoy this glance into our world.

We first agreed that neither of us were that excited about GG lately, what with the whole Nate and Blair thing happening, but we're trying to stick it out. Why? Chuck.

OHD: but i know the chuck stuff is coming, so i'm waiting patiently

me: also, what's with the whole "we're picking up from where last week's episode left off" thing?

OHD: i don't know

me: this isn't LOST people.

OHD: i guess now that we know the characters we need consistency. and by "we" i don't mean we. i mean "them."

We agreed that the plots had been changing and wrapping up a bit too quickly, as well. In this week's episode, Serena's new bf turns out to be a con artist who cheats all of Serena's mom's coop board members out of their money.

OHD: they're going to blow their wad by the middle of season three by doing every single teen drama cliche plotline in the book and then sitting around the writer's table going "uh, what now?"

"aliens? zombies? what? we've exhausted all the real-life possibilities"

me: i feel like it's been teetering between laughing at itself and just being over the top indulgence and wanting to be a serious drama

OHD: and by "possibilities" of course i mean shit that happens to almost no one

me: haha, i hope it's zombies!

OHD: it's going to have to be zombie Georgina! there, done. you're welcome, gossip girl writers.

me: yes.

OHD: that's season 4

me: a whole season of zombies? no way

OHD: sure, you're right

me: it'll be a season 3 finale with a zombie cliff hanger. then a year of zombie promos. then one zombie episode.

OHD: they would find a cure in fifteen minutes

me: yeah

OHD: dan would discover it

me: yes!! i was just going to say that. i hate dan. so much.

OHD: because of how, in addition to being an amazingly talented writer, he's also a scientist

me: hahahahaha. he's perfect

OHD: a brilliant scientist

me: except for his horrible personality

OHD: who discovers cures for death, between writing amazing short stories with characters that are thinly veiled versions of his non-friends

We then continued discussing our intense hatred of Dan. We really, really don't like him. After Serena et al. discovered that her bf was a con man, she told Dan she would take care of things herself. Of course, Dan went behind her back and talked to Serena's mom about it, asking her for help.

OHD: also, dan, such a narc!

me: i know. "um, i think we should tell our parents!"

OHD: i mean, yeah, of course you should tell your parents, but you're a TEENAGER. and your parents are practically infants

me: i know. serena's mom just did the same thing serena said she'd do. "i'll take care of it" no follow up. but that's enough for dan! cause she's a grown up

OHD: technically yes

me: and because he has never had faith in serena the "screw up"

who actually...screws up very little

OHD: mostly she takes responsibility for things she doesn't do

Serena taking responsibility for things she doesn't do reminds us of past plotlines that made us mad...

OHD: "killing" that guy

me: hahaha, THAT plot made me mad too

OHD: "extorting" money out of her mother's co-op, which, what?

me: i was really hoping she had pulled a marissa cooper

OHD: like, you also fell for gabriel's stupid see-through grift, you idiot

me: yeah...those people didn't get and stay rich all this time cause they're stupid

OHD: she should have really fucking killed him, and then lilly should've used bart bass' millions to buy her immunity from the laws of us lesser mortals

me: "sounds like a great investment! i'll cut you a check right now without looking into it at all...or having my people whom i've surely hired to look after all my money look into it."

OHD: THAT'S HOW THE RICH LIVE!! exactly. i totally believe rufus would fall for that

me: right

OHD: but not the real rich people

me: cause he's an idiot. just like dan.

OHD: jenny is the most functional member of that family

Then, of course, we went back to Dan...

OHD: but i hate how dan is always, "you're such a bad person, you're a whore and you're a drunk and you're morally inferior to me." because that's not actually true at all even a little bit.

me: i wonder if the writers know that. i mean, is dan supposed to be a jerk?

OHD: the show struggles so hard to make serena both edgy and sympathetic

me: i don't get it. it's just like brandon walsh on 90210... he was always the hero

OHD: and it's like, if you let her be wild in a mutli-faceted way, she will be sympathetic

me: but he was actually a jerk

OHD: they must know that dan's the biggest d-bag on the show. at least chuck, man, he pretends to be bad but is secretly good.

me: yeah

OHD: which is better than pretending to be good and being secretly bad. that is what sociopaths do.

me: nate is good too...though dumb and often selfish

OHD: dan might be a sociopath.

Goodnight folks! Next week we get a totally 80s flashback episode centered around how Serena's mom was just as much a party girl as Serena...no filler here!

This entry was posted by Brigitte, on Thursday, May 07, 2009. You can leave your response.