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Bring it, Utah

First, an off-topic warning: Despite the media's love affair with the Bulls-Celtics playoff series, the thing is largely unwatchable. It's not that I don't want to see the game unfold. It's that I can't, given the incredible number of timeouts awarded in the NBA. If a game goes into overtime, each team can (and does) call three 100-second timeouts. These 100 seconds take at least 4 minutes, by my estimate. And this is all in a 5 minute overtime.

Tonight's game went 3 overtimes, ending more than an hour after regulation. That's 15 minutes of actual ball-bouncing, with 45 minutes of either free throws or nothing.

Watch basketball highlights. Otherwise, watch hockey, where the action almost never stops. And drink Gatorade.

Now on to the brunt of my article: A rebuttal of Chris's well-received piece on Salt Lake City. I'm not saying it wasn't a good piece or anything. It's just that this blog is an upper Midwest vehicle, and Chris used his time to praise the Rockies. He's got to get got.

Here at the Blogulator, we discuss movies we watch in the Midwest, video games we play in the Midwest, celebrities we hear about over Midwestern internet, and weddings we attend in the Midwest... like, I don't know, maybe the one this weekend that many of us are attending in Lake Geneva, WISCONSIN.

The wedding itself -- the one of Andrew Chaney to his wife -- will actually occur on the beach of Lake Como, which is in the city of Lake Geneva. Named after one of the most beautiful locales in the world, I have no doubt that this Wisconsin version pales in comparison to its Italian namesake. Still, it's a touristy lake, so I bet it has pretty birds and flowers and stuff. However it looks, it will undoubtedly bore Chris, who only likes nature when he's listening to Iron & Wine. But if I bet if I play "Naked as We Came," just as Chris arrives at the wedding site toting whatever low-budget gift he picks up at the Target off the interstate, he'll be wrenching the tears out of his clip-on tie.

I guess you are right, though, Chris, about the area not having the same cinematic impact as Utah's Sundance festival. I mean, it's not like The Young and the Restless is set in Genoa City, a fictionalized version of Lake Geneva, WISCONSIN. Oh wait, it is. Faced. I still remember where I was when Philip Chancellor II died, right after Kay picked him up at the airport and drove him off a cliff. I also remember where I was when four Milwaukee Brewers made a star turn on the series.

Every time something happened in Genoa City, I was right here, in Wisconsin, loving every minute of life under the big sky. You can take your Rockies and cram them. We have real bears here, you know, just like the West. And we used to have saloons and stuff, too, before your Utah religion killed them all. Heck, we're more West than even the Old West. You know why? Because we're the Midwest.

This isn't just the rambling of some boonie plebe, either. I have degrees from both Washington, DC, and London, so I know what's what.

Yeah. I'll see you at the wedding, Chris. Maybe it won't be in some Neo-Gothic, serve-'em-and-curb-'em cathedral. But heck, it'll be beautiful. Because that's what Wisconsin is, and that's what love is. And you should know that.

All these men that you made, how we wither in the shade of your trees, on your wings we are carried to sea.

God, give us love in the time that we have.

PS Sean spent more than 5 hours on our animation last week, so I'm promoting it again. Love loves promotion.


  1. Blogger Sean | 1:26 AM |  

    looks like the best post of may came early this month.

    better luck in june, bloggerinos.

    congrats to chaney and his wife.

  2. Blogger Brigitte | 11:23 AM |  

    this was beautiful. just like the wedding. and love.

  3. Blogger chris | 2:17 PM |  

    Haha consider me got.

    Lake Geneva was indeed quite pretty. Until the Doktor clogged our hotel bathtub with his puke anyway.

    JK! That was beautiful too.

  4. Blogger qualler | 4:01 PM |  

    What was the most beautiful about Doktor's puke was the way he meticulously arranged to have it cleaned so he could unclog the drain and allow the other guests to shower sans puke-clogged drain. Now that's what I call teamwork, Doktor.

  5. Blogger DoktorPeace | 11:45 PM |  

    I do not understand Chris or Qualler's comments, and I will not respond.

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