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wacky hair = mildly wacky movies.

i hate to have 2 posts in a row comparing my former self with my present self, but maybe if things like chris o'donnell appearing at the emmys didn't happen, i wouldn't have to. in order to adequately pick apart tim burton's "remember me?" effort of 2005, CORPSE BRIDE, we must look at chris circa his "why doesn't anyone else want to go see sponge in concert with me?" phase. yes, once again we return to the magnificent year that is 1996. we will then work non-chronologically from this point.

due to lack of topographical capabilities on these viewing machines, i will construct for yee a word-map of my former 12-year-old brain directly after seeing the wonder that is 1996's MARS ATTACKS!:

part of my brain's thinking: "ha! the aliens are killing celebrities!"
part of my brain's thinking: "wow tim burton is WEIRD."
part of my brain's thinking: "more movies should have exclamation points in their names."
part of my brain's thinking: "i wish martin short got more credit. i really love that movie where he plays a child."
part of my brain's thinking: "i want to explore natalie portman's body."
part of my brain's thinking: "why aren't more movies LIKE this?"

9 years later, i think about that last comment and attempt to respond to it with the help of CORPSE BRIDE. (other modern pop culture conundrums such as jiminy glick and episode 3 have helped me respond to the others). as i watch NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS 2, err CORPSE BRIDE, I found myself semi-entranced by Tim Burton's uncanny ability to craft cutesy story and morbid existentialism into one fancy package and wanting more movies to be able to cross-promote across audiences, but not for the same reasons (obviously) as when I was a child.

regarding tim burton: a young chris would say "i like when it's weird, but not like too weird, you know? cuz then it's just stupid." an older chris would say...well, i'd pretty much say the same thing but feel a lot more jaded and pessimistic because of that pile of steaming killjoy that was BIG FISH. BIG FISH deeply offends me in a way few things in this life do. it's visually breathtaking and narratively manipulative, as that unfriendly word "existentialism" is painfully absent and replaced with the word "warmth."

but that's the thing here people, THEY CAN CO-EXIST. movies like nightmare before christmas, mars attacks! and edward scissorhands have shown us this, while big fish suddenly makes a tim burton fan think (if only for an instance): "maybe it's good he gave up on that dark stuff."

luckily, this whole line of thinking was given the boot when CORPSE BRIDE finally landed. but is redemption a feasible option in pop culture? history has proven the answer to be "mostly no." if it's possible to look at CORPSE BRIDE with only half-looking at the big picture, then tim burton has "returned to form," "gotten his groove back," and done it all with a very simple idea and execution. his posse of danny elfman, helena bonham carter and johnny depp has been with him through thick and thin, so of course they'll be right there for him when he scratches the itch in every 20-something that remembers watching NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS and thinking "wow it's like play-do."

but he has messed his shit up along the way. we can't pretend PLANET OF THE APES didn't happen. i don't have the same brain as i did when i was 12, so i must forcibly enjoy CORPSE BRIDE from a distance. here's a full-body word-map of what i experienced during the film:

part of my arm is thinking: "i will slap christopher's knee in response to the hilarity of an animated sight gag."
part of my foot is thinking: "i will work with christopher's ankle to tap in response to the rhythm of the slightly above average musical numbers."
part of my eye is thinking: "wow it's like play-do and computers mixed together."
part of my ear is thinking: "is that the voice of daddy warbucks?"
part of my brain is thinking: "I WISH I WAS EITHER TWELVE AGAIN OR HAD KIDS TO LIVE THROUGH VICARIOUSLY AT THIS MOMENT."

i think i'm done blogging about things that make me replay the music video of "heart-shaped box" in my head while i'm writing.

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  1. Blogger qualler | 10:24 PM |  

    Oh man that video ("Heart Shaped Box") is SOOOO AWESOME cuz like Kurt Cobain is rocking on a rocking chair and there are crosses and WEIRD THINGS going ON!!!

  2. Anonymous Drax | 4:37 AM |  

    The great Harold Ramis (of Ghostbusters fame) once said, "Comedy is funny hair and props."

    I once said, "I hate everything."

    So here we are...

    Planet of the Apes makes my soul bleed...

    Tull rules!

  3. Anonymous Drax | 4:41 AM |  

    By the by...

    Let's name drop the hilarious Martin Short comedy my esteemed friend Chris was referring to in the beginning of his post...

    It's Clifford and it's wonderous.

  4. Blogger DoktorPeace | 7:47 AM |  

    Chris I made a blog so that I could communicate with you, since I failed to answer the e-mail you so kindly sent me many moons ago. Umm I haven't seen the Corpse Birde yet or heard the latest Nadasurf so...ummmm...I guess....

    I love you!

  5. Blogger Dave | 10:38 AM |  

    I want Chris and Qualler to go see Transporter 2 together, and see who can write the most glowing review of it. (If you chuck your cookies you're disqualified.)

  6. Blogger Mark | 3:07 PM |  

    Chris and I are seeing Franz Ferdinand together tonight, which will surely be a cookie-chucking experience, to say the least...

  7. Blogger P. Arty | 7:21 PM |  

    Sorry boys, beat you to it:

    squishsmelldenhdr.blogspot.com

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