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TV Shows I Have Questions About

So before Jerksica and I once again babble on about various TV-related things on another episode of Blogulator Radio next week, I'd like to ask some questions about TV I've watched recently. You are welcome to answer them, because I sure as hell don't have any answers. Won't you join me?

Regarding Pan Am on ABC:

Are you still a show? I think you are because I watch you, but then how come I forget all about you for weeks at a time and then overdose on your Spielbergian fluff for too many episodes in a row?

Dearest Christina Ricci, do you know you're doing that with your face and voice? You're quite a good actress, and maybe this is you being hammy on purpose for the tone and sheen of the show, but why must you distract and practically take me out of the world of these characters with your jarringly fizzy take on "the female Gatsby" as whatever-your-character's-name-is so calls herself?

Have you heard of this show called The Hour? Did you know they actually know how to do both a spy story and a character study at the same time, unlike you, who's constantly determined to oscillate between romance and intrigue like they're two different shows?

Regarding American Horror Story on FX:

Why should I care about the ghosts as characters, who often have their own scenes and story arcs apart from the more central, alive, and human characters?

How come, if I am so sure that I can in no way identify with someone who is dead, the cray-cray occurrences just keep reeling me in episode after episode regardless of actual sense-making?

Why is Dylan McDermot so incredibly distraught when he's around very human, very alive characters such as his wife, but when his mistress that he just buried underneath a gazebo coughs up blood in his basement, he's just like, "would you please leave, nice lady?"

Regarding The Hour on BBC America:

How is it that I've managed to watch semi-periodically one mediocre Mad Men rip off (Pan Am) and at least 1.75 episodes of one really terrible Mad Men rip off (The Playboy Club) but have missed the one actually really good Mad Men rip off (the show in question)?

Am I really that predictable that any actress that even remotely looks like Jodie Foster automatically causes my wife to glare at me from across the couch due to my gushing and new-celebrity-crushing?

Why can't TV music be this distinctive, evocative, and just plain good on every drama?

Regarding Once Upon a Time on ABC:

I think I can tell some Losties work on your set and/or in your writers' room, but did you happen to neuter them before they started churning out scripts? Or did I just never really accept the fact that the expository dialogue regarding the mythology of that show was equally as heavy-handed?

Do you know how silly it is to have grown adults portraying fairy tale princes and princesses in a program that's too involving to be rewarding for kids, and therefore must only be targeted to young and full-on adults? Cuz it is, really.

Can you tell me why it is, then, that despite my constant flirtations with ralphing all over my family room while viewing myself from outside of myself watching a show about fairy tale characters stuck in real life with twinkly music in the background, that I still kinda wanna watch more episodes?

Regarding Work of Art: The Next Great Artist on Bravo:

Actually, you know what? No questions. Keep on doing what you do.

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