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Something Smells Gamey: Everybody's Angry

Have you ever heard of the Angry Video Game Nerd? If you were at Dave's house when Dave first bought his Wii, you may remember us watching the nerd's review of the first NES Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game on the console browser. After this, we went to HotOrNot.com and had an incredible judging contest, where rules were created to prevent candidates who did things like crop their individual photos out of group shots from being awarded anything above the minimum score of 1. If you don't know Dave, then you probably don't remember this, unless you were spying on a stranger's house. If you did do that, I hope you remembered to pick up your sandwich wrappers.

Sorry, babe. AUTOMATIC ONE

I will admit that I do watch the Angry Video Game Nerd's videos from time to time. He's both a fan and a scholar of the game medium, and you can tell from the various information he throws into his diatribes. His expertise is isolating instances of bad design and explaining how they are representative of the entire play experience, and he does a pretty job doing so. His somewhat unbearable potty humor and potty mouth are unfortunately omnipresent, as he is always claiming he'd rather do x and y than play z video game, but at least he tries to mix up his metaphors. He is attempting originality in some form.

His online spawn do not possess these redeeming qualities. There is now a surplus of "This Game Sucks" videos out there. Sure, many of the targeted games are good examples of shovelware that publishers rushed out to make a quick buck (pretty much any movie tie-in falls into this category). But even then, does a video in which all you do is swear over footage of the game really contribute to your spiteful cause? If you can make your point in an entertaining fashion, then I'm all for it. The problem is that so few can. Profanity-laden hate is substituted for content of any type, be it entertaining or informative, and I'm left to stumble upon this junk when I actually am looking for a fun critique. I do this a lot, too, because I'm unemployed.

It is possible that I'm the one with the problem here, though. Not only am I jobless, but I hated The Hangover. Everything besides Zach Galifianakis's absurdist charm (which was of course embodied in a character banned from school grounds) was a derivative joke of a Las Vegas stereotype that I could have written down on my list of "Things I Don't Want to See in This Movie But Expect To" beforehand. There was lots of swearing and perversion, and all I read about online is how much people in my demographic enjoyed it. Maybe most people who see these movies and look up these videos expect nothing more than this.

The internet is inherently an angry place, I guess because it's there. Even in our "devolved" state of social etiquette, most people would not go up to someone we disagreed with and tell them to their face, much less without some coherent argument. You can post your opinion online whenever you want, though, and you don't even have to feature justifiable points expressing your sentiment. Just swear a lot, dude. The game sucks anyway!

(Do not watch this video unless you want an example of this phenomenon).

I am not against the existence of these videos. Rather, I am against their execution. Why can't humans just leave well enough alone, and off of the internet, unless they can formulate their emotions into communicative thoughts? I know why. Because humanity sucks. A yearning for broadcasting the simple, unsupported conclusion is a bug in our genetics, encouraging us to spin towards the bottom, all the while s-ing our own d-s. I cannot believe I paid 60 bucks for society. F this game.

  1. Blogger DoktorPeace | 3:54 AM |  

    Funny story: The whole time I was trying to edit this post into something readable, I was swearing out loud at myself for writing this sucky piece of shit. I should've recorded myself and posted it online.

    I am the Ouroboros.

  2. Blogger chris | 10:08 AM |  

    Wow I could not make it through more than two minutes of that first video. And I'm fascinated by the Virtual Boy! It was all red lines!!!

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