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This Week in Pop Fashion: Gossip Girl, ANTM

Gossip Girl
Gossip Girl's
much covered season premiere Monday night, which brought the CW the highest ratings they've ever seen, led up to a terrific Labor Day fashion party, with all of our friends and all of their drama in one fantastic location. Little J had a great summer interning for Blair's mom's fashion something, and gets to show up at the exclusive Hamptons party in one of her original outfits. Blair, always stylish, is not dating an English Lord for some reason. And she wore a lot of headbands. Now I want to buy headbands...The Labor Day fashion party in the season premiere really made me wish that I was wealthier. And more popular. And isn't that really what the show is about? I have to say, I was impressed by the season premiere, and even though Qualler was right to call it a dramatized issue of Vogue, I can't wait to see how the plot unfolds. And really, I can't wait to see the cool clothes that they wear. I'm guessing that this season will eventually take us back where we started as far as couples go, but I think it'll be an entertaining road to travel.

America's Next Top Model
The future is building better models. The future is Mr. Jay and Ms. J (known in the future as Alpha and Beta J, of course, cause Greek letters are the future) wearing silver outfits and silver wigs. The future is Tyra's voice garbled to sound a little like a robot. The future is the next "decade" of America's Next Top Model (never mind that the show has been on the air over ten cycles, not ten years...). And the future is HERE.

Not five minutes into this 2-hour season (er, cycle?) premiere, we hear priceless dialogue from the would-be models including but not limited to:

"I love 2001: A Space Odyssey, so...giggle!"

"I've dedicated my life to liberation, activism...in the 7th grade I became a vegan."

"I don't see myself as ghetto."

The models are all supposed to step into something called the Glaminator 11.0, which will turn them into robot models or something. Of course, the Glaminator 11.0 is just a sliver tube with a little door, but it fooled at least one of the models, who said incredulously: "They have technology like THAT?" However, before the models can be transformed, a warning begins to flash "System overload! System overload!" and, of course, Tyra came out of the Glaminator 11.0!! Um, system overlad? Was that a fat joke, Tyra?

The first model came out in her swimsuit holding in her hand...her lucky underwear!!

Towards the end of the judging, Tyra said that one of the model's look was a little too Gossip Girl. Crossover!!!!! OMG!!!

Another model, when asked if she was nervous, said she was definitely nervous, but that she was always nervous, and very high strung...not the best thing to say to a panel of judges when part of your job depends upon your grace under pressure.

One model is representing Alaska, so of course Tyra pretended to be a moose, chasing her around. Another fat joke? Hmmm.

Yet another model this cycle is Harvard graduate! And so far, she's a terrible model, and doesn't know much about English Literature (her major). Of course, Tyra knows about English and American literature, and she said, "Why is it that I didn't go to an Ivy League school, but I'm throwing out names from literature!?" Maybe it's because you had time to prepare for these interviews, Tyra. But really, the models should be grateful, because as Tyra reminds us constantly, back in her day, there was not America's Next Top Model. Thanks again, Tyra!

When the obligatory plus-sized model came into the judging room, Tyra immediately said "You're a little thin for plus sized." Tyra made her put on padding under her tank top...so we could all get a sense of how much bigger she should really be...because once again the plus-sized girl is thinner than Tyra. And, once again, I feel guilty for skipping the gym today...but don't worry, she was eliminated before they even really got started!

This cycle's twist: a homeless girl! Remember the shoot at the homeless shelter from a previous season? No, neither do we. Well, she was one of the homeless women from that shelter! But that's not all--she's a he! First Tyra tackles autism. Then, Tyra speaks out for the fatties (remember Whitney??) Now, she's reaching out to the transgender community. Thanks Tyra! Raising awareness wherever you go.

Why does the future look so much like Jem and the Holograms? The girls get to place their hand on a scanner and it would say, in an 80s computer voice and font, either "Access Granted," or "Access Denied."

Of course, the biggest controversy in the house is so far surrounding the transgender model. Some girls are cool with it and say things to her like "You're a butterfly!" and commend her on her strength. However, most of the models said things like "People are people but, you know...she's really weird...she's a weirdo, to me." Another model said that she doesn't understand how a "he/she" got into the competition, because, isn't it supposed to be for GIRLS? Yet another couple of models had a conversation about how, in the small town they're from, a transgendered person (again I believe the word "he/she" was used) would just be shot. I can see that this issue is going to be met with more resistance than the autistic girl!

Oh, and to top it all off, in their final photo shoot, the models got to teach us that voting is "sexy." And those who weren't registered actually got to register right there. Because Tyra is passionate about this election. Because, really, Tyra is America, and politics is fashion.

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  1. Blogger Sean | 11:37 PM |  

    names! we need to know these models by their names!

    early favorites:
    marjorie (she's so european)
    isis (dude looks like a lady)

    early dislikes:
    sheena (the harlem asian girl who's a hooch)
    sharuan (sp?): whatever, they booted her and that was great because she was all thinking she was great but she wasn't and that was such a perfect setup and kick-off.
    the bitch from south carolina
    the anorexic-looking girl that likes to 'raise the roof'

    i only watched the second half though so i missed out on most of the space robot crap. bummer.

  2. Anonymous Dan | 7:06 AM |  

    Why can't I ever bring this show up at work without people giving me weird looks? Engineers just don't get pop culture.

  3. Blogger Lady Amy | 11:39 AM |  

    Oh, Tyra! We love you so. I haven't seen either of these yet, but I assume my dear friend Brigitte has TIVO'ed them...

  4. Blogger qualler | 11:42 AM |  

    I don't think the sheer lunacy of Tyra Banks comes through to me nearly as strongly until I take a day to digest what I just saw, then read your recaps, Brigitte. Tyra Banks is completely insane. Love it!

  5. Blogger chris | 12:18 PM |  

    Is there something wrong with me because I could read as many ANTM spoilers as my heart desires without watching it, but even when there's no spoiler alert, I have to convince myself it's okay to read about the GG premiere before I watch it?

    Which girl likes 2001? I'm rooting for her, unless it's the "he/she." Then I'm rooting for "him/her!"

  6. Blogger Brigitte | 12:54 PM |  

    yeah, i don't know any of the models' names yet. i don't like to get attached until a couple episodes in. that way i'm not so heartbroken when tyra eliminates them.

  7. Blogger Brigitte | 1:45 PM |  

    Chris--there's nothing wrong with you. ANTM is hardly worth watching (unless you're me!) so spoilers aren't really an issue. GG, on the other hand, is great. Sorry for the minor spoilers!

  8. Blogger Adam | 2:13 PM |  

    Perfect summary in the last line of this post.

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