Note: This is yet another in a series of shorter, "seriously-off-the-top-of-his-head" posts (this time from Chris - thx to Qualler for allowing him to use his format!) on Fall premiere month for TV shows. These are not intended to be formal reviews and might not cover every show the day after they air. But, that's what blogs are for, amiright?
Up All Night
Wednesdays, 8/7c on NBC
This one's a little late to the party, but is worth repeating much of what has already been said on the blawgs, because it really does have the potential to not suck, unlike so many other of the new fall shows. Yes, Will Arnett and Christina Applegate have surprisingly great chemistry. Yes, it's great to see Arnett not play a caricature of Gob Bluth anymore. And yes, creator Emily Spivey of Parks & Recreation sure does know how to take an overly familiar concept and make it seem fresh just by doing some simple things like making it clear that despite the stresses of having a baby the couple is indeed happily married and ensuring the single-cam style is both reminiscent of many other newer-generation sitcoms but also exude a soft-hued quasi-cinematic tone. Oh and the jokes are pretty decent. Not knee-slapping, but endearingly entertaining. (Also, dig that sans serif title font!)
But there's something amiss in the pilot that keeps it from being truly a beacon of light in this abysmal fall TV season. Qualler distilled it pretty handily in his email to me when I asked him if I could steal his format: "Brig & I watched Up All Night last night - liked everything but Maya Rudolph's talk show/character." Yes, it is true. Maya Rudolph, who I actually tend to always give the benefit of the doubt, if only because Away We Go is cemented as one of my favorite movies of the 00s, is distractingly unfunny as Applegate's boss/family friend. You see, she has a daytime female-centric talk show and Applegate works on it. If you haven't heard, daytime talk shows are often parodies of themselves, so why not parody one inside of a realist narrative about child rearing? Anyway, it's fixable if Rudolph learns to subdue herself, which I already got the sense of during her non-bossing-people-around scenes, so let's hope it does, otherwise we'll be watching half of a great show and half of a terrible show, which is kind of like eating a Nutella and sauerkraut sandwich...unless you like sauerkraut.
Grade: B
The Playboy Club
Mondays, 10/9c on NBC
Sigh. I honestly wouldn't have even watched this if I knew that Playboy and Hugh Hefner were actually involved in its production. Yes, I would have still watched it despite the universally awful reviews because maybe perhaps, I thought to myself, there would somehow be something at least entertainingly bad or even a sliver of hope buried deep within it just waiting to get out. Because really, I still believe that this is a great premise for a show, even in a post-Mad Men world. Even with the same actress playing the "chocolate bunny" from that awesome Pryce-centered episode of the lauded AMC show. It still could have worked - either for camp value or for straight character study drama. But alas, it's instead just a vehicle for Hef to make believe to the masses (and himself I'm sure) that what he began in the 60s was actually a feminist movement in disguise.
Yup, you read that right. There's actually a moment where Hef narrates (whether it's him or a vocal doppelganger I suppose we don't know, but it's the worst voice over since Dexter said "this donut box is empty...like my soul" - yup, never letting it go, Brigitte!) and straight up says that he thinks he was giving these girls a voice, a sense of independence and purpose even. That actually made it through various versions of the script and into the aired pilot. I guess this shouldn't be surprising, however, considering that the bathrobed creepster and his cohorts are the gatekeepers for the whole thing. So ultimately, while I may be oversimplifying my analysis, I truly do think that everything that is godawful about the show (with the exception of the wretched music, which is wretched completely on its own demerits) can be linked back to the fact that this is not a creative endeavor. It's a combination of advertisement and chauvinist guilt. Why have the soulless Eddie Cibrian as the protagonist attorney who helps the rookie bunny Amber Heard cover a murder? Because Playboy wants to show that good honest men visit the club. Why have a "keyholder" attempt to rape the rookie bunny? Wouldn't that show that also horrible people get in the club? Yes, but fret not, the nice ones like Cibrian will be there to save the damsel in distress. Don't even get me started on the subplot where the closeted bartender and bunny duo use their lavish tips to fund a clandestine pro-homosexual rights organization. Hef was helping the gays before anyone else, people! Maybe HE should be our next president!
Note: This is yet another in a series of shorter, "seriously-off-the-top-of-his-head" posts on Fall premiere month for TV shows. These are not intended to be formal reviews and might not cover every show the day after they air. But, that's what blogs are for, amiright?
New Girl
Tuesdays at 9/8c on Fox
Although she is unquestionably super-pretty (Brigitte even says it ALL THE TIME), I'm not a huge fan of Zooey Deschanel. I usually think feel a huge wave of unwanted twee washing over me that I can't overcome and then I start looking up YouTube videos of cats, etc. But her role in New Girl is, I gotta admit, pretty much perfect.
As the title character who moves in with three dudes after she breaks up with her boyfriend, Zooey is a true weirdo (in a sitcom way, of course; she pretty much acts in what I would consider a "real life normal" way amongst my friends and me, but for TV she's kwayyyzee.) She makes up songs, she references Lord of the Rings, she even wears glasses! (Although, I am of the mind that she's even hotter with glasses, as are most Americans in the age of geek chic.) She definitely makes the show worth watching.
I have a slight concern with the supporting cast of three dudes. One of them, Damon Waynes Jr., is already going to be off the show since he is on the surprisingly-renewed Happy Endings, although I thought his role was the least funny part of the show. Jake M. Johnson plays sort of a toned-down Charlie from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (either that, or I got that impression because he kind of looks like a cleaned up version of Charlie and, on the show, was dating the Waitress from It's Always Sunny). And Max Greenfield, who was in Veronica Mars, has a funny recurring gag where every time he says something douchey, he has to put money in the Douchebag Jar.
It's not that they are not capable or smile-worthy, and there's certainly plenty of time for the dudes to develop quality repertoire with Mrs. Ben Gibbard (seriously, how is that possible?), but they weren't quite as smile-worthy as the title character. But there's time to develop and I'll come back.
Grade: B+
Whitney
Thursdays at 8:30/7:30c on NBC
I was totally and unnecessarily skewered by Chris, Brigitte, and even our guest Carrie Raisler on Blogulator Radio this week when it came out that I sorta, kinda laughed at some of the (incessant, beat-you-over-the-head) promos that NBC released for this multi-cam sitcom, and my general opinion that, although the show might not be great, star/writer Whitney Cummingsmight have some kind of future in sitcoms. (Although, having also created a show with much more positive buzz 2 Broke Girls, maybe that future is behind the scenes instead of starring.)
So, now that I've seen the finished product pilot, I gotta say: you were right, jerks. It's not very good, at all. (I still smiled at a few gags, though. Am I not allowed to smile? Why must you mock my happiness?!) And, Cummings is, while fine, not particularly hilarious. Filling the role of "dud sitcom for douchebags" that NBC seems to always need to fill on its Thursday lineup, it's still a big step up from the offensively bad Outsourced in a lame way. And if that's damning it with faint praise, then so be it. If the characters of Whitney showed up at the New Girl apartment, they'd all be paying into the Douchebag Jar a lot. I'll continue to keep one eye on this and another on my laptop in between Community and Parks and Recreation (while also keeping a watchful eye on Zombie-The Office).
In this week’s very special episode of Blogulator Radio (DOWNLOAD HERE), the Blogulator crew of Chris, Qualler and Brigitte is joined by The AV Club’s Carrie Raisler (@TVandDinners) to discuss the new Fall season on the networks (or, the ‘werkz, as the kids call them.) As it turns out, most of the new shows are in the “not so good” range, but Carrie informs the gang about the shows that are most good-TV-watching-ready of all. Hint: most of them are not on NBC, and especially not starring Whitney Cummings. It’s an episode completely devoted to the upcoming new slate of shows, and probably our most professional episode ever, so you better be impressed! Or, y’know, whatever.
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Claire: Hey, what happened to that guy, Keith? David: It just didn't work out. Claire: That's too bad. David: Life goes on. Claire: That it does. David: There's work to be done.
Whilegoingthrough the first season of Six Feet Under, one pattern I have noticed is some fairly on-the-nose episode titles. Usually, episode titles relate either to some physical space or event that occurs in the episode, or relates to some situation the characters find themselves in. Episode eight, "Crossroads," has the somewhat dubious distinction of being both. Not only does Claire finally attend the oft-discussed Crossroads camp, but most of the major characters find themselvesat a metaphorical crossroads. In life. Get it?
Okay, so this is one of those times when Six Feet Under gets a little too in love with itself for its own good. As with the rest of this season, there is enough good stuff to make this an alright episode.
Rico, who is looking for the Fischer boys to show him some respect for his mad skills in body restoration, decides to take on a one-off job with Krohener, the previously-mentioned Evil Funeral Conglomorate That Only Cares About Money, Not Caring About Familes Who Die. That Gallardi(*), the guy who shows up in the pilot episode and the second and third, walks in to give Rico an offer for full-time employment (that, oh, by the way, he only has 48 hours to accept! Them slick-speaking business folk!) is further proof that Evil Funeral Conglomorates That Only Care About Money are totally Evil. This is, of course, Rico's Crossroads event: should he leave Fischer and Sons to take a better-paying job(**)? In the end, Rico decides to go with Krohener, because the Fischer brothers can't offer him a partner gig with their business.
(*)Further making Gallardi Six Feet Under's worst character of all time is the fact that he walked into the factory-like mortuary with an open mug of coffee. Aren't there health code violations against stuff like that?
(**)This is the second Should I Take This Job dilemma on an episode of TV that I watched this week. The other was episode 11 of the latest season of Mad Men, "Chinese Wall." Dammit Pete, just take the damn other job where you won't be verbally and emotionally abused by e'rybody around you! Do it for Trudy, dammit! DO IT FOR TRUDY! THAT'S ALLISON BRIE YOU ARE MESSING WITH!!!
Ruth finds herself at a relationship crossroad: should she spend her romantic time with the romantic, ethereal, gentle Hiram? Or should she be with the cantankerous but potentially passionate Russian Nikolai? Her dilemma is mostly comically played for laughs with her imagination running wildaboutHiram while talking with Nikolai and vice-versa for Nikolai while hanging with Hiram. Personally, it seems odd that Ruth would even go for Nikolai -- it seems as though Hiram is so well-suited for her that it's crazy. Plus they've been together for a lot longer than Ruth has even known Nikolai. Why is this even a dilemma?
Nate, meanwhile...oh, Nate, Nate, Nate. Nate has had his share of exasperating self-aggrandizing moments, but he really goes well above and beyond anything he's done in prior episodes here. His clear crossroads moment comes when he decides to go sunbathing instead of studying for his Funeral Directors exam, while business over the summer starts to dry up. Like the true a-hole that he is, he decides to spend more time getting all paranoid about Brenda's friend from Australia who comes to visit. That Billy speaks as the voice of reason while Nate smokes a whole lotta marijuana with the gang and has a pretty bad trip speaks to Nate's total lack of empathy toward others. And that Nate has the gall to show up at Brenda's the next day and give her a quasi-apology about his high freakout, while explaining that he only did it because he couldn't stand the idea of her spending time with another dude (which, by the way, isn't a real apology, Nate!) and THEN demands that Brenda apologize for using other people to push him away, makes my head hurt. Brenda mostly laughs it off, but takes it a lot more seriously than I would like to see her do. Granted, I think all of us can relate to what I would ultimately consider Nate's deep insecurity(***).
(***)As Chris points out in his recent Nip/Tuck post, Nate Fischer represents the leading man jackwad who ultimately tries to change and continues to revert back to what he is. He's somewhat similar then to Tony Soprano, although the big difference is that David Chase continues to slap the viewer upside the head every time we are about to think, "Hey, this Tony guy is actually just like me!" whereas it is more clear that Nate represents the everyman. Thankfully, Six Feet Under works better when looking at the central character as the entire Fischer family, and I think that, while Nate might be the prodigal son character, the story arcs of the others in the family are just as important.
David, as per usual, has the most compelling crossroad situation. Square dance teacher Kurt shows up, all handsome and smooth, and takes David on a date. When Kurt starts asking him about what he thinks about dating older guys (David being an "older guy"), David has the chance to come clean about how he's not really out at all. In even more heart-breaking fashion, David forgoes more opportunities. At this point, both Nate and Claire separately know that David is gay, but the wall that he is building around himself is starting to damage his relationships with his family and is putting him in a potentially self-destructive spiral.
That Claire's literal crossroad is essentially the Crossroads program she finds herself in is typical of her character in the first season. I really do like Claire as a character and, in general, Lauren Ambrose's portrayal of Claire as a misanthropic teenager who is trying to find herself. But too often in the first season, it seems like the writers don't know what to do with her, so they either send her off on unrelated side stories, like putting a foot in Gabe Dimas' locker, or have her work as a foil to other characters' stories, like using her as a conduit to show how whacked out Billy is.
All in all, we find ourselves at a "crossroads" to the season. More than halfway through the year, we are starting to find our characters moving toward making decisions in their lives that will affect each other, and their lives. And, after a few episodes of some navel-gazing (albeit, really great naval-gazing), the plot machinations need to start moving along. So, in episode eight, we get an episode perhaps a little too clever for its own good, but one that works fine with what it is intended to do.
Grade: B
Memorable Quotes and Miscellaneous Trivia
"You are fucking with people's lives here!" -Dennis, the Crossroads guy. "Some of those people are completely innocent bystanders. Hello!" -Claire. Claire says "hello!" in exasperation better than most people on earth.
"My dad's a big shot at Disney." -Parker, in revealing to Claire that she's a "compulsive liar danger slut." This character development, along with the guy in the entertainment biz that David took home that one time, seems to suggest that the writers have some issues with other people in the entertainment game.
"Irreverence was my drug of choice. Still is, I guess. Ha ha ha ha ha!" -Hiram, at the end of Ruth's Nikolai fantasy. Okay, now I understand a little more why Ruth would be interested in Nikolai over boring Hiram.
"Nobody's ever what they seem to be." -Parker. "Nobody interesting." Claire.
"Did you just make me a lifetime commitment right before the thinly-veiled threat of abandonment?" -Brenda, on Nate being a total jackhole.
Episode director Allen Coulter is kind of the go-to guy for pilot episodes for HBO-template serial dramas these days, having recently directed the pilots for Rubicon and Sons of Anarchy. He also directed many episodes of The Sopranos, including a definite Top 5 Episode of the series, "College." That's the one where Tony brings Meadow on a college visit and, well, you know the rest.
Every time I see Michael Cudlitz in anything, I think to myself, "Hey look, it's Sean Astin!" But, it's not. Cudlitz was most recently on Southland and had a longish guest bit on the original (and still the best) 90210.
Yeah, that was Stephen Pasquale, aka Garrity from Rescue Me as Kurt, the square dancing teacher going out with David. For as many times as Denis Leary called Garrity gay on Rescue Me, he plays his gay character pretty straight on Six Feet Under. (No pun intended.)
Season One, Episode Seven: "Brotherhood" Written by Christian Williams Directed by Jim McBride
"You did the right thing today." -David "I know. Feels kind of good, doesn't it?" -Nate
In many ways, the first season of Six Feet Under revolves around the ways families interact with themselves, and in particular, the way two brothers with different personalities can find common ground in their shared background. Episode seven of season one of Six Feet Under puts Nate and David's brotherly relationship under the spotlight for the first time since the pilot episode. At this point in the season, though, a number of other plot points had been introduced, making this episode feel slightly less than cohesive.
Nate and David take in an Iraq war veteran(*) who passed away due to lung cancer named Victor Kovich. His brother steadfastly refuses to allow a Military funeral, citing the fact that Victor never talked to him about his service. While David and Nate spar over what they should allow him to do, at this point, predictably, with Nate siding in the camp of Respecting The Deceased's Wishes While Exhibiting A JackBaueresque Loose Cannon Streek and David siding with the Do Things According To Plan, ultimately Nate takes charge and gives Victor a military funeral.
(*)I had to recall that the Iraq war they were depicting was the one that took place in the early '90s, and the one in which I still have official Operation Desert Storm trading cards, including President George H. W. Bush and Vice President Dan Quayle as cards #1 and 2. I also forgot about the controversy surrounding Gulf War Syndrome.
Brenda, meanwhile, demonstrates her strong sibling relationship with the well-meaning but unstable Billy, he of the Claire-heart-breaking behavior. When Brenda and Nate receive a creepy gift basket featuring inappropriate gifts from Billy, Brenda reassures Nate that Billy has good intentions and that, in his bipolar brain, means that he actually likes him. Nate isn't buying it, though. And, probably, for good reason.
Claire finds herself moving further down the "What is my future holding for me?" wormhole, intentionally bombing her PSAT exam (with a wicked Skull and Crossbones bubble-fill-in image on her test!) Ruth invites Hiram over to cook dinner for the family, while each of them have their own imaginary fantasies of what's really happening, mostly giving Frances Conroy an opportunity to say wacky things that she doesn't normally say as Ruth. This season of SFU uses these imaginary things as comic relief quite a bit, to varying degrees of success. Claire's imaginary algebra-teacher-with-an-exploding-head bit looked a bit more like a scene from Evil Dead than an HBO series, and I'm not sure it was in an entirely good way.
David, as usual, is the highlight of the episode, with his conflict in whether to make the deciding swing vote in favor of bringing the progressive-minded Father Clark on board at St. Bart's church. Father Jack lobbies hard for David to make the vote in favor of Clark, but ultimately David chooses to vote against him, siding with the deacon who calls him the night before the vote concerned that he might favor a pro-gay agenda.
"I mean, I don't care if he is. I just don't want him to push that agenda. You know, marriage, that whole thing. I have a cousin in DC whose church split because of that. Literally half the congregation left. And I don't want to see that happen to St. Bart's. I've been going there for 40 years."
That David made that decision while putting some gay porn on pause(**) to take the call was a sad and extremely effective way of showing his internal struggle with his sexuality. I continue to be astounded by the excellent work by Michael C. Hall and the superb, tender writing of his character throughout this first season. And the hypocrisy of the members of the church against progressive-minded leaders like Father Clark is depicted in such a realistic, understated way. It's amazing to see characters who are obviously hypocritical, yet not depicted as total a-holes as they would be on, oh, say, True Blood. That television has rarely reached these understated heights since this originally aired in 2001 seems wrong, especially considering present-day societal circumstances.
(**)That David watches it while drinking a tall glass of milk is an especially nice twist.
Ultimately, Victor's brother attends a military funeral and is presented with an American flag. As is now custom with this show, the expected reaction, a wholehearted embrace of his brother's military past, does not come to fruition. Instead, his brother coldly shoves the flag into Nate's hands: "Give this to one of his friends," he says, and walks out the door. David somewhat begrudgingly admits that Nate was right about pushing for a military funeral, and Nate perhaps lingers in his pride a little too long.
But when Nate returns to Brenda's house for what he expects some usual post-family ca-noodling, he finds Billy in pieces on the floor, and Brenda helping him through a bipolar episode. Nate expects Brenda to push him away for what he gets used to, but he finds the strength of familial bonds stronger than the strength of doin'-it-in-crazy-positions bonds. As the episode title suggests, Brotherhood is a strong bond that is hard to break.
Grade: B+
Memorable quotes:
"Exposure to formeldyhyde gives me a brain tumor." -Nate. Hmmm...
"Your mom walked in on us once, so I guess we're even." -Brenda, on Billy walking in on Nate and Brenda doin' it.
"You think the world runs on logic? Open your eyes." -Claire, to her algebra teacher. Oh Claire, I wish you knew what a cliche you were.
"I just want something to matter. Maybe I should just wander around the desert and eat peyote and see God." -Claire, in exploring who she is with her (creepy) guidance counselor.
"You know what occurred to me tonight that's really strange? I wish you met my husband. I think the two of you would have liked each other." -Ruth, to Hiram. Hiram doesn't totally dig this comment.
"Website, we no have website!" -Nikoli; along with references to Gulf War Syndrome, this quote makes this particular episode feel quite dated.
"I'm so happy, I can't wait to come back tomorrow." -Ruth "You're not going to be like this every day, though, right?" -Nikoli, after finding Ruth huddled at the flower shop finding joy in the selling of flowers for joyous occasions. And, thanks to HBO's excellent actor contracts, Ed O'Ross, who plays Nikoli, shows up as, essentially, the same character in the memorable Curb Your Enthusiasm episode "The Larry David Sandwich." This is probably my favorite Curb scene...ever. ("Cream cheese. Capers. Onions." Ahhh good lord, Jeff Garlin is a genius!!!!!) Okay, along with "a little too saucy."
"This is who I am, this is what you get." -Brenda, to Nate on helping Billy with his stuff. Some of the first signs we see of trouble in Nate's relationship with Brenda. Man, sometimes I just wanna slap Nate repeatedly.
As an introduction, here's my television profile. Last year I watched one new show – Community - and I liked it a lot. I watched an episode and a half of Glee and despised it. I have watched multi-minute trailers for all of the new Thurs/Fri/"Sat" shows this fall. I plan to watch none. My reasons for this are: 1.) I'm more of a classics man. I'd rather work through past seasons of Veronica Mars, Friday Night Lights, and, yes, Laguna Beach. 2) I'm more of a video games man. Civilization V was released yesterday, therefore pushing all other life plans (including eating and breathing) to the side. Urination remains a priority.
So that explains what you may interpret to be the bunching of my panties in the following. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy my prime-time preview, which includes a partisan description, a forced positive, at least one negative, an essay question to complete for Monday, and my prediction not of how long I will watch the series (because I won't), but of how long they will survive in absentia of my viewership.
Thursday ABC My Generation What's it about: Twenty-somethings these days (aka me!) and how our lives were defined by 9/11 and Enron. Because I know the reason that I'm a tightly-fitting stereotype (“the boomerang kid”) is because Enron's collapse pulled back the curtain on the business world. Actually, now that I think about it... Positive: The faux-documentary style (present in the trailer at least) is something I haven't necessarily seen used in this sort of dramatic context before. Negative: This style appears to be a cellophane cover for already thin stereotypes that have little actual relevancy to our generation. Disney don't know me! Essay: The trailer for this show attempting to inform our generation ends with a song by the Rolling Stones. Explain. Future: To be re-evaluated at the winter break, due to low numbers in the target/portrayed demographic.
CW Nikita What it's about: A female spy, based on the only female spy license to succeed this side of Jennifer Garner. I imagine the new face of this established franchise (Maggie Q) maintains the spy-tus quo through equal part knife play and seduction. And according to early numbers that put Nikita's pilot above The Vampire Diaries premiere, fans are happy to re-issue her license to kill. Positive: Maggie Q looks like she would smell nice, and she appears a good sport in this video promoting her role in 2008's Need for Speed: Undercover.
Negative: In the 10 minutes of the pilot I watched in passing, I experienced no feelings of newness and moved on with my life. Essay: Would you have tried as hard as I did to make a pun on the phrase “license to kill”? If not, why? If so, how would you have done it better? Future: 3 years. One for the money, two for the show, three for the Maggie Q is starting to want too much money and we're running out of ideas anyway.
CBS S#%$ My Dad Says What it's about: William Shatner steps into the role of a cranky old man whose musings were captured by his son on one of the first popular twitter feeds to expand beyond the location (e.g. coffee shop) of the author (e.g. Demi Moore). The series was contrived (sic created) by the people who brought you the punchline/punchline/hold-for-emotion/punchline format so beloved in Will & Grace. Given the punchy nature of the twitter entries, maybe this is a less gay marriage made in heaven? Positive: Old people can be funny... Negative: (cont.) ...when they're reacting candidly and authentically. We also have here what I call a critical case of whiny protagonist (see Almost Perfect, How I Met Your Mother). In such illnesses, the main character oozes both pus and unprompted neediness, infecting his/her surroundings with an annoying insincerity that, while managing to drive the plot forward, both reflects and instills a disturbing jaundice in society's image of normalcy. Essay: Which Star Trek (The Original Series) episode would you have most liked to be captured in twitter form by a fringe character? Which Fringe episode? Future: S#$^ hits the can this November.
NBC Outsourced What it's about: Our White Hero (TM) is cruelly informed that his gimmick gift company has (wait for it...) outsourced most of its positions to India. He gets to move over there and keep his role as call center manager, however, because that would be hilarious. Positive: We have another fresh comedy conceit from Thursday NBC, the only place on network television not requiring new sitcoms to feature a father, mother, 2.5 children, and a gay relative. Negative: Despite seeming to be in his 20s/30s, Our White Hero appears to possess the racial awareness of a pensioner, provided the joke calls for it. Wearing a cheesehead, OWH cracks to his new subordinates and national hosts that, “You guys have got some pretty crazy hats yourselves.” I do believe there's an opportunity for smart comedy in this setting (and maybe even a life lesson here or there?), but it's gonna need writers willing to rise above the easy joke. Let me just look quickly to see what else head writer Robert Borden has done... Oh Vishnu. He co-created George Lopez. Essay: Have you ever heard your grandparents complain about Indian call-centers? If so, how well did they veil their bigotry? If not, is it because your grandparents are dead? Future: This thing is squatting on Parks and Recreation's property. Whichever one shows the better ratings by Christmas will stay. That will probably be this.
Friday ABC Secret Millionaire What it's about: (Ed. A good blogger lets the guilty condemn themselves.) “Today, more than ever, America is a place of the haves and the have-nots. ABC will break down this barrier, close the gap, and bring the two together.” In other words, some television executives have finally solved political philosophy. That's why they get paid more than other people. Positive: As is the case with charity, there is the possibility that some of the change our benefactors have so emphatically withdrawn from their wallets will legitimately help someone, at least in the short term. Negative: I don't like watching rich people masturbate. Essay: Seriously, how much of a saint is ABC? I mean, Fox already aired 6 episodes of this brand last season, but come on. Thank you, ABC. Future: It will come and go depending on how much water the marketing department visualizes in their “audience tear buckets.”
Body of Proof What it's about: A successful woman neurosurgeon loses her professional gift after a car accident; so she moves from the hospital to the morgue and hopes that nobody there has already seen House. Did I mention she's a woman with a career? That's drama right there. Positive: Hugh Laurie is a great actor. Negative: Hugh Laurie isn't on this show. Essay: Compare the number of affluent white people murdered in real life against the number murdered on television. What do these numbers say about Nancy Grace's career prospects in a fictional world? Future: Who cares. I'll find out when I'm dead and Dana Delaney pulls the truth from the bottom quartex of my left spleen.
CBS Blue Bloods What it's about: Bring Tom Selleck back to television and surround him with an arguably capable ensemble (Donnie Wahlberg, Bridget Moynahan). According to Tom Selleck in the trailer I watched, “It's got plots. It's got action. It's got everything.” Plus it's got an Irish cop family to make it extra gritty. Positive: Maybe some interesting “plots” will surround the family dynamics, thus making the show less procedural than every other CBS drama. It's also guaranteed to be less procedural than the garbage that is Rizzoli & Isles. (PS Rizzoli is also cable's number one new show.) Negative: It's another cop drama set in the Eastern seaboard. And I don't think I can over-emphasize the fact that it's on what I consider to be the most pandering, low-risk network out there. (PS It's also the most watched network. Sigh.) Essay: When all the old people die, will CBS lobby Nielsen to include ghost viewers in their ratings? Also, what do ghosts like to eat? Future: 3 strong years before Tom Selleck gets antsy and leaves to star in television's most expensive new project with Maggie Q.
NBC Who Do You Think You Are What it's about: Celebrities go on a personal journey (with camera crews) to uncover their genealogies. Spike Lee is related to white people! Positive: I saw some of my London friends enjoying the British version. Negative: I was not enjoying the British version. And selfishly, the only version I would enjoy is one about myself. Essay: How awesome is it that I might be related to Admiral Horatio Nelson? Do you want me to spend an hour telling you how awesome it is? Future: This will pop up whenever “interesting” histories are produced and time needs to be filled. It's already sharing a timeslot with...
School Pride What it's about: A hip reality crew is commissioned to fix up the crap much of this country calls an education system, so long as that “fixing” can be done in a couple weeks and looks good on camera. School Pride has already been dubbed “Extreme Makeover – School Edition,” and I imagine it embodies all of the benefits and trappings therein. Positive: Any airtime given to the impoverished state of education is good airtime. Negative: Expect this airtime to be dominated by airy personal tales, with key infrastructural problems being too complicated/controversial to address head-on in a commercial setting. Essay: How awesome would it be if Veronica Mars went to your school? How much more awesome would it be if I were dating her?! Future: See previous.
Outlaw What it's about: A retired Supreme Court Justice returns to his lawyerly roots, using unconventional methods to free the wrongly-accused and right the general wrongs of the world. You know, it's by helping people one at a time (and not through establishing the boring case law that makes helping people one at a time more possible) that our justice system shines! On television! Positive: Jimmy Smits looks to be having fun playing a womanizing old cowboy. Negative: Hour-long broadcast television doesn't want consistent fun. It wants us to chuckle momentarily before pounding us over the head with the message that, despite its flaws, our country, our people, and our constitution are the best in the world. Essay Question: To what degree can healthy society embrace its outlaws? To what degree can healthy society embrace another fall of predictable entertainment? Future: One year, if only because I can't wait to see what fresh new ideas Hollywood has for us next September!
"Saturday" Saturday! What a day! Groovin' all day with youuuuuu!
Of the ridiculous amount of new scripted shows that are premiering this fall, twelve of them are attempting to transform your Tuesday or Wednesday evenings into "appointment viewing." And yet, while two years ago I wouldn't have dared watch a reality show, I do believe that the only thing that might turn into "appointment viewing" for me on a Tuesday or Wednesday night this year will be Top Chef: Just Desserts. Call me pessimistic, call me the reason why the networks keep giving up on scripted dramas and new sitcoms (hint: the real reason is because they're idiots), but while I will attempt to watch most of the shows discussed below, the truth is all I really want is Netflix Watch Now access to stuff that critics have already lauded from the past and a spin-off reality show starring dark chocolate accoutrement and fancy whipped cream. Nevertheless, let's take a look and see if any new Tues/Wed shows have the oh-so-slight potential of becoming something great...
Tuesday ABC No Ordinary Family What it's about: Michael Chiklis (The Shield) and his family slowly realize they're superheroes after they survive a plane crash during an exotic vacation. "It's Heroes meets The Incredibles," creator Greg Berlanti likely muttered half-jokingly to an exec over his fourth drink in a hotel lobby while trying desperately to squeeze his way back into a full-time TV job. Fast-forward to this fall and the hour-long dramedy series is one of ABC's most hyped new shows. How long will it stay in my Hulu queue: As will be the recurring theme with this post, until I get sick of it. And while when I first heard of the concept I was intrigued, especially with Romany Malco (Weeds) involved, after seeing the bright and shiny ABC gloss attached to the previews, I have only a glimmer of hope for this being anything more than another lame attempt at capitalizing on a pop culture craze that saw its final glory moments almost a year ago now.
Detroit 187 What it's about: Michael Imperioli (The Sopranos) leads this ensemble cop drama whose only distinguishing feature is that it's set (and filmed) in...Atlanta. Wait, no. Detroit. That's it. The title confused me for a second. What it also does in attempt to distinguish itself, not from all of TV but from other cop dramas, is it has the (stomach quivering as I type) characters talk to the camera. Not sure if this will be episodic or self-contained, but my best guess would be a lifeless combination of the two. How long will it stay in my Hulu queue: Depends on how right I am with regards to that pre-emptive lifeless comment above. Southland did the half-serial/half-crisis-of-the-week formula and it worked for about half of a season, then got stale. That said, it was and likely still is (its new home is TNT) better than so many of those other cop shows out there that are kinda quirky but mostly melodramatic and have characters who start talking like this AND THEN TALK LIKE THIS when the criminal is apprehended. THAT all said, it's still another cop show, and David Simon is nowhere in sight.
FOX Raising Hope What it's about: These descriptions are starting to have a trend. I mention an actor I like and then proceed with a plot synopsis that is eye-rolling to the max. Here we go again - Garret Dillahunt (Winter's Bone) is father to a 20-something slacker who has to raise an unexpected baby after his one-night-stand baby mama gets sent to prison. Cue a quick cut with a swooshing sound effect to someone not knowing how to change a diaper and then getting peed on in the face. How long will it stay in my Hulu queue: As long as it takes me to realize that this isn't actually the plot to a sparse minimalistic indie movie where the characters don't talk to each other very much but when they do it's moving and curious. Imagine that - a world where an idea can be cultivated without messages and meaning being hit over your head, and without pee-in-the-face jokes, and with a nice ambient soundtrack to soothe the soul.
Running Wilde What it's about: Will Arnett (Arrested Development) walking aimlessly through a world that cannot break it to him that he simply cannot be a leading man, but instead has to suffer as the brilliant supporting actor that steals scenes and wins hearts without anyone ever asking him to step and have a protagonist's role. Oh, also, he's rich and Keri Russell is an environmentalist, so you know, Odd Couple blah blah. How long will it stay in my Hulu queue: Mitch Hurwitz's name alone got me to watch 1.5 episodes of that dreadful animated show about a wacky school faculty, and there's all these (quite possibly empty) promises about the show workings its kinks out after the first couple episodes, so it basically all depends on my mood after watching the pilot, which I will not be able to keep myself from watching, though I anticipate laughing only 1.5 times.
TBS Glory Daze What it's about: This doesn't premiere until November and it's on TBS, a station whose original programming I have never watched a full episode of, but it's an hour-long dramedy about going to a Wisconsin college in the 1980s. And I keep wanting Tim Meadows to do good things, even though I have no real reason to. How long will it stay in my Hulu queue: I don't trust TBS's ability to program original scripted TV that doesn't fit within their parameters of Tyler Perry sitcom or generic crime show, so this will most likely fall by the wayside pretty quickly, but I applaud their attempt at trying something new. It won't be as good as Undeclared, which you should Netflix right now if you haven't already, but college life is way less overdone than high school life, so I'm always interested when someone attempts it.
Comedy Central Pretend Time With Nick Swardson What it's about: Another stand-up comic that didn't quite become a movie star (Nick Swardson of Grandma's Boy) is attempting a sketch comedy show on Comedy Central. It's directed by one of the Human Giant guys (the one that's not Aziz and the one that's not on the VH1 things), so that's a plus, but it's produced by Adam Sandler's Happy Madison company, which is a minus. How long will it stay in my Hulu queue: Well Comedy Central doesn't put their shows on Hulu, otherwise I'd say at least an episode. Unless this gets huge post-premiere buzz I don't imagine myself seeking it out too desperately in other ways.
Wednesday ABC Better With You What it's about: Known in the industry as the Friends clone made by one of the Friends writers/producers that has changed names a billion times only to settle on the interminably forgettable Better With You, this is one of those traditional multi-camera sitcoms that aims at making people forget that there was a reason traditional multi-camera sitcoms have gone the way of the dodo (add that to your list of phrases that should go away, by the way, Qualler) in the first place. Actual plot synopsis - a couple that has been together forever is friends with a couple that only been together for a little while and relationship hilarity ensues. How long will it stay in my Hulu queue: Until Doktor Peace tells me how horrible it is (he told me how horrible it was earlier this summer when he saw a free preview of it on an airplane).
The Whole Truth What it's about: A courtroom drama starring Maura Tierney (ER) and produced by Jerry Bruckheimer that allegedly (see what I did there) covers both sides of a case, showing just how hard it is to escape storytelling conventions enough so that viewers actually care. I say this because the ads still make it look like just another lawyer show. How long will it stay in my Hulu queue: If any critic says it does what it actually purports, I will attempt the pilot, but otherwise I was spurned last year pretty hard by the concept of lawyer shows by trying to watch ABC's last attempt - The Deep End.
CBS The Defenders What it's about: Jim Belushi and Jerry O'Connell are defense attorneys in Las Vegas and that "How You Like Me Now?" song blasts in the background every time one of them does something irreverent, like take a drink when they probably shouldn't be or when they raise their eyebrows after rolling some craps dice. How long will it stay in my Hulu queue: As long as that song remains in my head, I will never attempt to google "defenders hulu" for the rest of my godforsaken life.
NBC Undercovers What it's about: JJ Abrams brings us another spy show, except this time it's with a married couple. I never watched Alias, but from what I know of it, Undercovers does not look like an Abrams production at all. It looks stale, by-the-numbers, and very NBC-y. How long will it stay in my Hulu queue: It's already gotten middling reviews and during that whole Heroes time period I pretty much watched ever NBC pilot that got uploaded to the Internet, so I think I've finally learned my lesson. Until the tiger changes its stripes, I won't get tricked again.
Law & Order: Los Angeles What it's about: Apparently there's this thing that these formulaic cop shows do where they get really popular, then instead of just resting on their laurels, they create a replica of the show almost note-for-note but just cast new actors and set it in a different iconic American city. If you guys are ahead of me on this trend, I apologize, but my mind has just been BLOWN. How long will it stay in my Hulu queue: For a long time I considered myself a Law & Order: SVU apologist, but honestly I haven't spent any time with Stabler or Benson in almost a year now. So while there's a chance I'll check this out to sate my curiosity, it's a small one.
The CW Hellcats What it's about: Cheerleaders in college get catty and schemey. Apparently the only way this girl can save her scholarship is go all Bring it On and get caught up in the dangerous politics of college cheering. I had a class with a cheerleader in college once and I don't like to stereotype, but she was insufferable. Just saying. How long will it stay in my Hulu queue: The CW also chooses not to partake in the Hulu TV coup of the late 00s/early 10s, so as long as I've got discs of the original 90210 to borrow from Brigitte and Qualler and as long as Veronica Mars: Season 4 isn't a possibility, I will be staying away from original CW programming.
This Fall, like every fall, TV is new! And it's fresh! And...it's mostly boring!
After last year brought to live new mega-hits like ABC's Modern Family and (eventually) Cougar Town, alongside NBC laffers comedies Community and shows that amused me for at least half a year like Fox's Glee, Chris, DoktorPeace and I approached the new TV season with excitement. What's gonna be this Fall's Glee? You know, the show that we all like when it starts because it feels fresh, then starts to feel stale when song after song get piled upon plot point after plot point that feel repetitive after, like, seven episodes?
Sadly, the networks don't appear to give us much of anything like that. Of course, a lot of that could change--there are a few sure-fire appointment TV additions this year. (Mostly on cable.) For the most part, I think I'll mostly be catching up on shows I didn't totally finish this spring/summer like Treme, re-reviewing episodes of Six Feet Under (so much more satisfying than watching new episodes of True Blood!) and watching for the first time Friday Night Lights (Love it. So. Much.) Buuuuuuuut, for the interest of being snarky, here are descriptions about new scripted shows on TV this Fall, along with predictions of how long they will last on my DVR. Chris will tackle Tuesday and Wednesday tomorrow, and DoktorPeace will analyze Thursday, Friday and Saturday.
Sunday
Weirdly, this Fall's TV schedule contains no new shows on the Big 5 (ABC, CBS, Fox, NBC, CW). So, I'll move right into cable.
BBC America
Luther (Oct 24)
What it's about: From the BBC America press release: "A brilliant detective tormented by the darker side of humanity, Luther shines a light into the hearts and minds of psychopaths and killers, and the shadowy spaces of his own soul." What's not said here is that it stars Idris Elba as the title character, which is obviously awesome. Elba, as said "brilliant" detective, questions killers and tries to hunt 'em down, using psychological trickery to track said killers down. The twist is that he's not also a serial killer, ala Dexter.
How long will it stay on the DVR? Probably as long as it takes for me to finish the season. Thankfully this is likely to happen because a) the season is only six episodes long and b) based on the trailer it appears to be a show totally in my wheelhouse. Plus, hearing Stringer Bell with a British accent, plus 'splosions, both metaphorical and literal, are plenty to keep me interested, even without knowing a ton about it.
AMC
The Walking Dead (Oct 31)
What it's about: Zombies, in a post-apocalyptic future, have overtaken the population, and a group of ragtag survivors gather together to battle the "walking dead", all while learning a little bit about each other. Okay, that was my complete and utter guess without having looked at the actual AMC press release: "The six-episode series tells the story of life following a zombie apocalypse. It follows a group of survivors..." Yep, that's cool.
How long will it stay on the DVR? Again, as long as it takes for me to watch all six episodes(*). Showrunner Frank Darabount, he of The Shawshank Redemption fame, looks like he is using the source material of the comic book by Robert Kirkman quite well. AMC's track record has been pretty perfect already, what with the two best shows of the year Breaking Bad and Mad Men along with up-and-comer Rubicon effin' ess up. so I fully expect a four-for-four with The Walking Dead. Fanboys everywhere are surely excited!
(*)Yes! I love the fact that six episode seasons are coming into fashion! Please let this continue to happen, cable! My attention span is too short!
HBO
Boardwalk Empire (Sept 19)
What it's about: Atlantic City kingpin (and Treasurer! Rock on, accountants!) Nucky Thompson (Steve Buscemi) does Gangster-like stuff in the roaring twenties, in a big-budget period piece run by second-hand man of The Sopranos Terrance Winter (is that, consigliere? Eh? Correct terminology?) and directed by Martin (I call him Marty, because we tight) Scorcese. Also, it's HBO's return to its wheelhouse of shows it is most famous for -- big, violent, well-written high budget shows about big ideas and stuff.
How long will it stay on the DVR? All twelve episodes will be watched, and probably as they air. Based on last night's premiere, Empire is a highly watchable, extremely well-done production, written tightly, albeit from a familiar genre. Based on critics' reviews of the first six episodes, the series expands and deepens as it goes on. Booyah.
Damn, new Sunday, you rock this Fall.
Monday
CBS
Mike and Molly
What it's about: Two fatties fall in love in a sitcom created by Chuck Lorre, he the creator of Two and a Half Men and The Big Bang Theory. Other Blogulator staff are not fond of either show, whereas I kinda like Jim Parsons as Sheldon in Bing-Bang (as frequent Blogulator commenter Papa Thor calls it) and see a place for corny-yet-well-done CBS sitcoms. Also, Melissa McCarthy of Gilmore Girls is, reportedly, quite good as a lead actress.
How long will it stay on the DVR? Um, doubtful that it makes the DVR at all, especially given the Monday night mash-up that will be happening soon. But, I'll probably check out a few minutes once or twice. Doesn't mean I'll like it, but maybe if the Vikings are on Monday Night Football and there's a commercial, I'll change the channel to CBS, briefly.
Hawaii Five-0
What it's about: Remember this show called Hawaii Five-0? Well, this is that show, but done now instead of back then. Also, Daniel Dae Kim of Lost gets to stay in Hawaii and Grace Park of Battlestar Galactica looks good in a bikini.
How long will it stay on the DVR? At least through the pilot. Despite being a remake, I am very glad CBS is making a cop show that is not self-important and dour like the CSI series. I also love looking at any scripted TV that is in high-definition that is fun to watch. Sounds like this pretty much covers all those bases. Also, Grace Park looks good in a bikini. Did I mention the bikini?
NBC:
The Event
What it's about: Some mysterious shit happens, probably involving some secret government conspiracy. Said conspiracies lead to more conspiracies, which we are expected to care about as the conspiracies get revealed. Also, we don't know what "the event" is, but it's probably something crazy. But, hey! Blair Underwood and Zeljko Ivanic! They're good actors!
How long will it stay on the DVR? I highly doubt I'll have the patience for another Lost knockoff, so probably not long. I'm guessing five episodes, and I'll watch one-and-a-half, until I remember that Friday Night Lights is a lot better, and I have a lot of catching up to do before they air their final season(**). There is one hilariously bad line in the trailer that sounds a lot like a lifted lyric from a certain Coldplay song. I think the discovery of said line is about all you need from this show.
(**)Anybody know where I can find the final season of FriNightLights even if I don't subscribe to DirecTV this Fall? Eh?
Chase
What it's about: From the NBC press release: "'Chase' is a fast-paced drama from Emmy Award-winning executive producer Jerry Bruckheimer . . . that drops viewers smack into the middle of a game of cat-and-mouse as a team of U.S. marshals hunts down America's most dangerous fugitives." Um, yeah. Is this perhaps the most generic-sounding show of all time?
How long will it stay on the DVR? Well, it does take place in the oh-so-not-typical city of Houston, TX, and instead of starring a butt-kicking heart-of-gold dude, it stars a butt-kicking heart-of-gold chick. But, it's not going on the DVR. Sorry.
Fox: Lone Star
What it's about: Speaking of the great state of Texas, a con man in Lone Star decides he is tired of the con and tries to get out of it. Shaky camera and indie-Americana soundtracks ensue, with Jon Voigt featured in the cast. An AMC/FX-style drama done right on Fox. Craaaazy.
How long will it stay on the DVR? Definitely will stick around for the first three or four episodes. Alan Sepinwall is saying that this is the best network pilot of the season, but have expressed their doubts that it will work as a long-term series, based on the shows premise, which could easily be solved in the length of a movie. Still, thanks Fox, for taking a risk on a decent looking show.
