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Played Out: Video Game Stand-Up

With nerd culture being so hot in comedy today with things like The Big Bang Theory and Dane Cook dominating the headlines, I've decided to draft the beginnings of my own, game-inspired routine. Check it. Here is exactly how it will play out:

The host begins: "Our next comedian is..."
(I jump on stage) Me! Sonic the Hedgehog!
(Audience murmurs): Is that really Sonic the Hedgehog? I thought he was a hedgehog not a human? This drink minimum is a total rip...

That's a brick wall behind me.

Just kidding. It's me, DoktorPeace.
(Audience sighs before transitioning into impressed applause).
I'll be your avatar for the evening.
(Laughs)
Seriously, though. Have you seen those XBox 360 avatars? They actually look like people... except that last time I checked, I don't really wear cowboy boots! I don't know why I put them on my avatar!
(Applause)
Anyway, thanks for having me tonight. I have to admit, I was afraid I'd come out here and lay an egg. Once I got to the dressing room, though, I looked in the mirror and realized, "Hey! I'm not Yoshi!"
(Uproarious applause).
I met Tino the stagehand backstage. He reminds me a lot of those New Yorkers in Grand Theft Auto IV. You know, the ones I run over with my car!
(Even more uproarious applause. A couple people fall into the aisle).
Have you guys been following the news? Herman Cain is a guy, and he's a lot like Bowser, don't you think?
(Laughs).
No no... I shouldn't say stuff like that about other people. I actually feel really good today. I met Ulala, the dancing reporter from Space Channel 5 at a Starbucks this morning. All I can say about her is... "Ooh La Larection!"
("Yes! Yes!")


Honestly, though, I don't think it's gonna work out. The only regions more uncharted than the game Uncharted 3 are my nethers! No wait... Kirstie Alley's nethers!
(The cops arrive. They immediately crack up.)
How many of you have kids?
(Some raised hands, but not too many cuz my crowd is young and cool).
Tell me: Are they all really as annoying as Baby Mario? Crying all the time? I mean, it's gotta be tough. I haven't even unlocked the code to the wahhhmbulance yet!
(Every safety code is violated).
Baby Mario is a pretty good kart racer, though. Anyway, that's my time. Gotta jet!
(I put on red sneakers like Sonic and run away.)
(Audience whispers): Wait... That really was Sonic?

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  1. Blogger Mark Waller | 8:32 PM |  

    OMG, you should totally bring that to the comedy clubz!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Blogger P. Arty | 1:49 PM |  

    If I get married, you are doing this EXACT routine at my wedding, Brammer!

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