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Angry Amy Ads It Up Angry Style

You know what makes me angry?! Babies talking like adults! Not only are talking babies a strange concept -- because they are not quite animals but something feels creepily anthropomorphic about them -- they are NOT funny. So in this blogger's opinion, E*Trade should have picked a more worthwhile comedy sketch to get sued over. But then again, maybe this is karma for bad commercials.

According to The New York Times:
Lindsay Lohan is suing E*Trade Financial over a popular television commercial that made its debut during Super Bowl XLIV and has appeared subsequently during coverage of the Winter Olympics and other programs. [...]

The lawsuit asks for damages of $100 million and an injunction to prevent the commercial from appearing again. [...]

In the commercial, a baby boy and a baby girl are chatting over a video camera. He explains he did not call her last night because he was taking care of his portfolio. She asks, suspiciously, “And that milkaholic Lindsay wasn’t over?” The baby boy replies, “Lindsay?” At that point, a second baby girl enters the frame, in front of the boy, and says, “Milk-a-what?” In her lawsuit, Ms. Lohan said the second baby girl was modeled after her because the one-word name “Lindsay” was identified with her.
Clearly E*Trade Financial's lawyers must have slept through that whole semester of Trademark and Copyright Infringement class. So Angry Amy is here to catch them up to speed. See, some people can't understand why Ms. Lohan is suing the company for using her identity to sell their product. These people say that it is ridiculous to think that the baby in the commercial resembles Lindsay Lohan at all, so I've compiled a list of similarities between the baby in the ad and LiLo:

1) First, there's the obvious. They're both babies -- whinny, and need constant attention.

2) Neither babies nor Lindsay succumb to the pressures of the social norm to hide one's shame in public.

3) Usually babies don't really have any financial assets of their own. Similarly, the cash flow is looking a little sparse for Lindsay.

4) Lindsay and babies alike just loves boobs.

5) Like Lindsay, the baby in this advertisement has a bit of a substance abuse problem.

6) Also like Lindsay, the baby in this advertisement doesn't understand what a substance abuse problem is.

7) Just like a little baby, Lindsay falls asleep on long car rides. Ahhhhh, isn't she a little angel?!

8) Like most growing babies, it would be a healthy idea for Lindsay to put on some weight.

9) Finally, it is very important for all babies and Lindsay to be monitored at all times.

So you see E*Trade and Lindsay haters, it's really more than just the name. This ad constitutes a blatant attack on Ms. Lohan (or simply Lindsay, as the rest of the world knows her). With so many similarities between Lindsay and the baby in the ad, I can't see how she won't win this lawsuit.

  1. Blogger qualler | 10:21 AM |  

    Thank you, Angry Amy, for also pointing out how creepy/stupid those ETrade commercials are in the first place. Karma's a bitch.

  2. Blogger Papa Thor | 5:01 PM |  

    I HATE babies. I tried being a baby once for a couple years and I hated myself.
    The only thing worse than babies talking is gramma's riding motorcycles.
    As the Marquis of Montrose is wont to declare: "Know your place!"

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