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A Very Special Preview of Events to Come

Happy almost Halloween, blogosphere! Plus, happy almost voting day! Yes, this coming week is jam-packed with special events, and it's times like this that it is good to look ahead and make sure you're prepared for the coming week. That is exactly what I am going to do this evening. With October 31st closing in on us and November 4th just around the corner, everyone is working on their tricks or treats strategies and their plan on how to escape the predicted two hour waits at the polls. Let's first start with Halloween:

All Hallows' Eve
Well, you may not have your costume picked out yet, but there is one group of professionals who have already laid the foundation for tricks this Friday. The trick? To steal candy away from children! Several dentists in the Twin Cities suburbs are buying back Halloween candy from kids for only $1 a pound to encourage good dental hygiene. Ok, so "stealing" may have seemed dramatic at first, but a dollar a pound is practically highway robbery when it comes to candy. Do you know how much of your candy equals a pound? Like half of it - for the average trick-or-treater that is. Plus, the dental offices are capping your candy selling potential at $5. What does $5 even buy a kid these days? The only thing I can think children under 12 would do with $5 is buy more candy! Or if not candy, they're bound to spend it on some other kind of sweet. Plus, there's little to no point in trick-or-treating if you can't keep the goods. It will destroy the sense of community that comes with begging your neighbors for treats.

And of course the rationale for the "candy buyback" is to promote "good oral health." Boy, adults sure have a great way of sucking the fun out of everything, especially in the name of health and safety. The worst part, however, is that the dental offices are going to donate the candy to kids at the Ronald McDonald House. While this may seem very charitable on face, I think the message is pretty terrible. It says "we care about dental hygiene for kids in the 'burbs but not for those kids at the Ronald McDonald House." We don't have to feel too guilty though, because in the end, the kids with the candy will have a yummy treat on Halloween and the suburbanites will just have raisins and floss.

As bad as the idea of a candy buyback seems to me, I think that the dentists might be on to something - an idea that could easily be applied to celebrities. A blogulator eye-candy buyback! Don't know how it would work exactly, but I'm totally willing to collect all of the pictures of hot celebrities and find a good home for them. What do you think? Chris? Qualler? Just let me know. In the meantime, shirtless Christian Bale always makes for great eye-candy.

Get Out The Vote!
Finally, since I won't blog to you before next Tuesday, please remember to vote! I could go into a lot of detail about the importance of making your voice heard, doing your civic duty, yada yada yada, but I think Christina Aguilera can say (or sing it creepily to a baby wrapped in a giant American flag) much better than I can. Enjoy! And vote!

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  1. Blogger Brigitte | 10:25 AM |  

    wow...buying back candy is almost as bad an idea as assigning neighborhoods afternoon hours on the Sunday closest to Halloween for trick or treating, so that no one actually goes out after dark on Halloween night (my neighborhood did just this, and it nearly ruined my favorite holiday. had I been a few years younger when living in that neighborhood, it definitely would have ruined Halloween). Who wants to dress up and trick or treat between 2 and 4pm????

  2. Blogger Brigitte | 10:52 AM |  

    are you allowed to wrap babies in American flags? is that really patriotic? what a creepy video.

  3. Blogger Unspar! | 11:08 AM |  

    I really don't want to vote, Amy. Please don't make me.

  4. Blogger Lady Amy | 11:15 AM |  

    Oh, you are going to vote and you are going to like it!

  5. Blogger nicole | 11:49 AM |  

    Yeah, I thought it was a horrible idea that Ronald McDonald House kids should get cavities and the suburban kids should get money. It's like they're paying to promote poor dental hygiene for less-fortunate kids!

    We had the stupid curfew for Halloween when I was little, too. They actually set off the tornado siren to let us know when we had to go home. Which is almost as annoying as having to wear a jacket over your princess costume because it's so cold. That sucks!

  6. Blogger chris | 3:01 PM |  

    If I understand your proposition correctly, you would have to either a) enlist others to go around to people's houses or if we're talking digitally, web sites, and take their eye candy so that they can sell them to you at an absurdly low price OR b) you yourself goes to others' houses and web sites to collect the eye candy and then sell it back to an unidentified third party for a low low amount.

    It would probably be more beneficial and least complicated to simply go cruise the Internet for free semi-porn, collect it all yourself on your hard drive (iJFP recommends Symantec/Norton software), and keep it yourself with no monetary exchange whatsoever.

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