Guitars in a Booty Beats World

Every once in a while, I like to check in on the charts at Minnesota's home for Top 40 music - KDWB. It's always interesting to see what few chosen "rock" songs have made it into the Top 40 chart amongst a sea of hip-hop, R&B, and various T-Pain collaborations (that's right, yet another Blogulator music post referencing the vocoder superstar). These past few weeks, the guitar songs have been staying even more toward the bottom half of the charts than usual, with only two using said instrument in the top ten, and these two tracks are of the variety that I generally wouldn't even consider actual songs, much less "rock" songs: "Bubbly" by Colby Caillat at #2 and "Over You" by Chris Daughtry at #9.

Wait for it...wait for it...yes, lite grunge to soundtrack two broken souls.

First of all, I thought for sure the world's flirtation with VH1/MTV cross-pollination was over (or the music-related 90s versions of these two networks anyway). Let the watered-down calm-day-on-a-beach video lovers have theirs and let the ADHD flashy flash loud bangs have theirs. KDWB, or K-Dweeb as I'm sure they wish they were called, is all about the aneurysmic MTV music until one of those songs comes on and then suddenly around the world, you can hear either a million 12-year-olds turning off their radios or a million soccer moms who begrudgingly let their kids choose the radio station in the car say, "hey, this ain't half bad" and turn up the volume just a teency bit.

No, Blogulator readers, not until #16 on the charts do we finally get to an actual rocking tune that does not use the guitar as the musical equivalent of Sunny Delight or Surge soda. Please click on that link. (Peanut Gallery: "Excuse me, sir, but I believe you've bypassed "Wake Up Call" by Maroon 5 at a respectable #12!") Sorry, Peanut Gallery, but I must ignore you for obvious reasons. #16 presents us with my latest guilty pleasure bordering on actual pleasure - "Misery Business" by Paramore. While their formula is basically Kelly Clarkson meets Fall Out Boy, at least there's energy and passion here, unlike our other two examples. It also signifies opening the male-dominated emo-pop field to more female vocalists, a subgenre that has until now been all about "losing the girl." Until now, angsty rocking female-fronted Top 40 tunes have pretty much just been Avril and Kelly, while Boys Like Girls and Plain White T's stood off on their own, unmentioned in the same breath. Paramore is proving that the split doesn't have to exist. That is, if pop culture was gendered I mean.

In this current landscape of booty shaking and bland ballads, it's always good to have at least one rock song rocking the proverbial boat. Funnily enough, only one spot below Paramore, there's also a supposed "rock" band that is trying in all the wrong ways to bridge that gap between the dance song and the guitar song. Indie music has already been doing this successfully since 2003 with LCD Soundsystem and The Rapture, and until the mainstream comes around and bastardizes that subgenre (Dance-pop-rock?), people like Good Charlotte shouldn't even be trying. The ridiculously titled "I Don't Wanna be in Love (Dance Floor Anthem)" apparently thinks that 80s retro isn't totally out of style yet. I mean c'mon, when you've got The Killers sounding more like The Boss than New Order, I think it's time for everyone to move on. Once again, indie's taking care of it GC. Go back to dating barely legal super skinny actors that write better songs (or rather probably hire people who can) than you could ever imagine.

Trying to make it all the way through this song gives the same kind of feeling I get at the end of watching this commercial. At first, you're bored, then your eyebrow raises, then you are scarred forever (pun intended).

Goodbye, Cruel World.

Qualler here, posting for Mrs. Qualler for a while. She was planning on blogging, but right now, she's curled up in a corner, using torn pictures of Vogue magazine as a pacifier, mumbling something about "Heather is America's Next Top Model, Heather Heather Beather Heather Tyra the TYRAANNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTT!" Now, as a man who doesn't understand gender-based things for things designed for the "better half", I can only assume she is talking about the recently completed trade between the Minnesota Twins and the Tampa Bay Devil Rays in which the Twins swapped young stud pitcher Matt Garza for young stud outfielder Delmon Young (great move, Twinkies!) But that's for another day, and another blog -- Brigitte's girly show is making her cry. How typical.

Brigitte here...blogging in purple. My favorite color: purple. One of the few things left that gives me joy in this cruel, cruel world.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007, is a day which will surely go down in history. Heather was cut from America's Next Top Model. The autistic contestant is no longer in the running.

Now I hardly have a reason to watch the show. Sure, she can't handle simple human interactions. Sure, she got totally lost on her way to meet with potential clients, and so only met with one (the other girls met with at least four) and arrived back at the house 40 minutes late, disqualifying her from this week's challenge. And yes, maybe she deserved to be cut. But why, Tyra, why?!?! You could have cut the bitchy blonde one I charmingly refer to as Melrose 2 (a contestant from last season). No one even noticed her! Why did you cut my biggest reason for watching the show? Give her another chance!

I think my feelings would best be expressed by this poem I wrote and a photograph of wild heather. photographs...they say so little in times of sadness.


Heather
heather, heather, heather...weeds amongst rubbish. Stones.
clod, cold, polished, pretty stones. clod. hopper. clod-hopper.
heather grown in fields askew with mill weed. milkweed. harvest grains...co m po si tions.

COMPOSITIONS. "smile with your eyes..."
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
if these eyes could climb
incline, decline, deCLINE.
thank you, i shan't take anymore tea.

cold. whistling past icy inclines.


alone.


This is Brigitte, signing off.

Bowza Yowza

Yowza Bowza. Looks like that last post caused some people to get their nongendered panties in a twist. Fortunately, I have minimal interest in gender studies, finding it a boring topic unless taken to the Xtreme (e.g. removal of women from commonplace chores equals removal of humanity from nature). Still, I want to fit in, so I'll try to gendrify my love for the following:

Battlestar Galactica :
I've spilled my guts on Galactica for a while now. It could be the greatest drama of all time (depending on how it ends), surpassing my previous favorite, Dr. Quinn. Unlike the medicine woman, though, strong characters in this show are nearly gender neutral, allowing male or female to fit into any role. It is both a welcome story device as well an integral part of the story, in that we are presented a universe in which all of what happens might have already happened before in a universe where the same actors occupied each other's roles. I don't mean to confuse, nor do I mean to scare you away with a philosophical plot thread which sits on the edge of an otherwise tangible story. I do mean to intrigue you. And I do order you to watch this show (in order!) during the present and upcoming TV lull.

The cast lineup - a mandatory marketing device since Grecian theatre first put on Kevin Jameseus' King of Queens: The Polity

I know I have some weird taste. I am even allergic to shrimp, expanding upon the meaning of "taste." Nevertheless, Battlestar Galactica is a universal good! Half of Europe (represented by my dormmates in London) can't be wrong; history has proven that. For all you people who, regardless of your thigh characteristics, do not like Star Trek-esque sci-fi, I am here to say that this is an alien-free space opera. You've got humans and you've got Cylons (robots), and, believe it or not, you do not got Will Smith. Yes, the lack of Will Smith is a downer, but he's busy hanging out with grotesquely-CGI deer.

Concluding statement/plea: The Galactica world is overwhelmingly familiar, focusing on realism more than techno-pron, and all you need to have to enjoy the show is a mind that can see past the nerdtastic title. Watch the opening miniseries and watch the first episode of Season 1. If you still don't like it, then I'll let you stop, and I'll forgive you on the surface. Underneath, I'll know that you will never grow as close to me as you could have.

XX/XY QUICK HITS

John Tucker Must Die - If this is supposed to be a chick flick, then why did I have to layer my pants? Ohhh I get it they were luring my member to a story I'd otherwise find uninteresting with promises of young, tanned beauties. Great job! They win, I don't care, and I will happily lose the battle every time.

I don't see Sophia Bush as a woman. I see her as a person who was in the same bar as me on my 21st and therefore probably looked at me for a second or two.

Tin Man - SciFi, when not producing real shows like Battlestar Galactica, is busy churning out a bunch of shi*. Tin Man seems to be the latest addition to this arsenal. Will this miniseries that provides yet another twist on The Wizard of Oz rise above weirdness-for-the-sake-weirdness? I doubt it, although I may give it a chance. I'm also still angry at lead Zooey Deschanel for becoming the permanent image of the Hitchhiker Guide's Trillian in my head. It's not that I hate Zooey. I just think that I'd prefer to imagine whatever woman my mind decided to create. I'm told that this process of projecting fictional relationships onto actual people is something normal people do, only they adapt their fantasies to fit the droll of society. Who told me that? My psychologist, of course - Ronnie the Lion.

The guy on the right is the Tin Man. It's probably a metaphor.

American Gladiators - How much more neutered can you get than big blobs of steroidal air pockets shooting tennis balls at scurrying firemen/Bostonian housewives? The answer is none more neutered, and NBC is bringin' it all back early next year. Finally, after three years of my most-watched channel (Heroes, Conan, The Office) feeding me Biggest Loser commercials I fail to comprehend, there will be a reality show ad I can follow. "Wait, why do I want to tune in to watch fatties exercise and whine about their lives and how they... GLITTERING MUSCLES AND JOUST STICKS YES YES YES!"

No Country for Enchanted Men

I am a male and constantly dealing with it. Sports, chicks, cars. That's basically the perfect summary of my waking hours. Not. I prefer reading, hanging with my BFFs, rocking out gently, and watching copious amounts of movies. And yet, I am still a dude. For the purposes of today's piece, it must be pointed out that those sports/chicks/cars dudes (we'll call them SCCs from here on out) also tend to watch movies. To these fellas, movies aren't totally gay or wussy. Movies are a cool way to chill with your buds in a comfortable plush environment in close proximity, throw back some brewskies, and become mesmerized by gun violence and/or dick jokes. And yet, these dudes also have brains that liked to be stimulated beyond the aforementioned guy tropes (some of them anyway).

So does my maleness, which tends to be largely absent in my life, manifest itself when I do this thing of watching moving pictures like other dudes do? Are un-male tendencies cultivated when the majority male watch intelligent films? Are intelligence and maleness mutually exclusive in the world of film (or in a larger context)? Within these gendernomic questions lie the less all-encompassing answers regarding two recent films anyway: why I found perfection in No Country for Old Men and experienced intermittent enjoyment in Enchanted. A brief explanation for each example will have to do for now - hopefully acting as a microcosm for the larger cultural studies mystery at hand.

As I watched Disney's attempt to capitalize on Shrek's postmodernism-for-kiddies success, I managed for the most part to displace all memories of Scottish Austin Powers and Smash Mouth powwows to give the fairy tale in NYC an honest chance. After all, Amy Adams is a total babe. So I let the opening animated sequence that sets up the whole little princess big city scenario engulf me with its tongue-in-cheek softness (unlike the harsh ADHD tone that muddles the strengths of the DreamWorks green ogre movies). I felt like a kid, but like childhood itself, it didn't last forever. As an underdeveloped Patrick Dempsey (McDreamy? more like McAmbivalent!) squinted his way onto the screen and a generous serving of little kid wonder was smeared over every uber-bright scene, I yearned for darkness.

I felt greedy for wanting so much out of Mickey Mouse, but I couldn't help it. I was already 75% sold on the movie due to its general ability to put an un-ironic smile on my face (despite McDumpsy) and poke at the semi-harmful fantasies the company has perpetuated throughout film history, but that's what frustrated me. It got so close to actually blending the harsh real world with fantasy, but it never really did. Once the fantastical entered the real world, the real world merely became a backdrop for jokes. Cute jokes, but still just jokes. If there was just a little more "the world sucks," I would have liked it more. I can't help it, but when I came to this realization, I felt like it had to do with my maleness. Why couldn't I just enjoy a light diversion? Why did it need to be so real? Why is my version of reality so dark? I'm a happy person, but when I want reality in film, I want it to be firmly rooted in the darkness of man.

Good can come out of the darkness of man while that darkness still surrounds him, and No Country for Old Men proved that. Sure, I didn't smile in awe as Josh Brolin gets hunted by a guy with a bad haircut as he tries to get away with $2 million that isn't his and Sheriff Tommy Lee Jones contemplates his role as enforcer of law and order. But I was entranced in the way this not-so original story was unfolded to me - the way it modestly and expansively forced us into the eyes of these characters, their choices, their blurred pasts, and their (lack of a?) future. Violence hovers above these men, and we're forced to feel haunted by the impending evil along with them. Is this a dude thing?

Movies show us basically three kinds of worlds: the one we know, the one we wish we knew, and the one we never want to know but are intrigued by (and even slightly romanticize) at a distance nonetheless. I often want to see the latter because the extremities of our society exist and feeling under the skin of the worst makes me realize what I have - the best. It's not an aesthetic flash bang of adrenaline - I don't who can still get that from watching a movie, dudes or not. It's a hypnotic suggestion that lures me in as a person, spits me back out, and I have nothing left but to appreciate what I have and what life, history, and our society has often spoiled for so many good men. I want to be enchanted, but I also want to be engulfed. Thankfully, in the world of movies, I can have and appreciate both.

Pop Coltura in Italia

So I hear there was some wedding people were talking about on the Blogulator last week. People, that biznass is so old hat. Get over it. What I want to rap at you about today, or, sing in a falsetto to you about, is Italian culture, as well as the culture one runs into whilst in transit. You know, traveling to a destination! (Did I mention that I would also be describing the things Mrs. Qualler and I witnessed in the style of an Italian English language tour guide?) Well, there you have it. Mrs. Qualler and I thankfully had MTV Italia in our hotel room on our Roman holiday, one of the two English language channels. The other was CNN -- you know, the channel that shows news stories!

As it turns out, MTV Italia plays a bizarre mash-up of American piano-playing crooners, dance queens, and bad Euro Pop. Here is what we witnessed:

Good
Rihanna, "Shut Up and Drive"
Man, this chick totally knows what's up in how to make music sorta indie. We saw this video and its energetic style and faux-M.I.A. beats made me not want to poke my eyes out with pizza. Now that would be a tasty way to lose my eyesight. And man, check out that bootie. You know, the slang term for the rear end!
(Link here)

Foo Fighters, "Long Road to Ruin"
Let's all face it -- grunge's answer to Wings has only gotten worse and worse since the grunge era died. And, the Foo Fighters recent output hasn't changed any minds about that fact. But, when I was sleepy and needed the English language, this slice of "hey, remember songs that kinda sound like 'Everlong' during your high school years? Yeah, cool." Who doesn't like nostalgia once in a while? You know, happy memories!


James Blunt, "Same Mistake"
Now, compared to the vast array of music in the world, James Blunt is not a preferable artist. But, his new video has kind of neat cinematography, and there is no piano involved that I can tell. Plus, this song is kind of like a Pete Yorn song, but with a higher voice. So, James Blunt, in the sea of horrible music, yours may be the least horrible. Congratulatons. You know, I am happy for you!


Bad
Peter Cincotti, "Goodbye Philadelphia"
I'm not sure how Europeans relate to some generic guy singing about how freedom means a lot to him, but OH MY GOD THE FALSETTO! Falsetto! You know, singing in a high range that isn't utilizing one's vocal cords! He's in so much pain as we get to the ending chorus, and by the end, so am I.



The Fray, "How to Save a Life" and "Over My Head"
I didn't even know that The Fray sang these particular songs. In fact, I thought Five for Fighting sang both of them. "How to Save a Life" is most particularly offensive to me because this video doesn't explain what life we are saving. Who are we saving, baby-faced bald piano playing guy??? (Piano! You know, an instrument used to make faux-artistic pop songs!)


Thankfully, Rome was full of many wonderful sights outside of MTV Italia. You know, places you go to see! But the images of generic piano pop may be burned into my memory forever. At least the world has James Blunt. You know, vaguely inspirational wimp rock!

Love in the Time of Cinema

Has love ever truly been captured on film? Or, my little blogureaders, have movies that do capture it ever been appreciated? Romance is usually relegated to the "Chick-Flick" shelf at Blockbuster, denegrated with the "in touch with my emotions" label, only acceptable to most of the population when it's subtly integrated into an action-adventure film with a much wider scope (see: my father's favorite epic love story, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon").

My un-definition of the romance genre:
Romance isn't spending one day together and falling in love. Romance isn't people hating each other and sparing until they suddenly realize they're in love. Romance isn't anything starring Jessica Simpson and Dane Cook.

Of course, my opinion isn't receiving much attention. More powerful, nostalgic, and generic critics get to make lists that get some respect...

The American Film Institute Lists the Top 100 Passions:
1. Casablanca
2. Gone with the Wind
3. West Side Story
4. Roman Holiday
5. An Affair to Remember
6. The Way We Were
7. Dr. Zhivago
8. It's a Wonderful Life
9. Love Story
10. City Lights
11. Annie Hall
12. My Fair Lady
13. Out of Africa
14. The African Queen
15. Wuthering Heights
16. Singin' in the Rain
17. Moonstruck
18. Vertigo
19. Ghost
20. From Here to Eternity

And number 21 is Pretty Woman.

Casablanca I can understand, because it's classic and a true epic and memorable.

"Here's looking at you, kid"

And Roman Holiday is one of my favorites, even though they do fall in love in a day, because it has Gregory Peck, my romantic ideal of a leading man. They also ride a scooter around Rome together. Rome is lovely...and a holiday there right now might be nice. Which photo is from the movie and which is of two honeymooners currently on a roman holiday?

Moving on: My Fair Lady? Don't even get me started! Rex Harrison is misogynistic, patronizing, and self-serving, and his final romantic line, showing his affection (or affectation) is
"Eliza? Where the devil are my slippers?"

I wish I had an ugly old man to say that to me, after mocking my family, way of speaking, and manners! Swoon. Not to mention the fact that her romantic distraction is Freddie, an incredibly cute, British guy, who writes her pages of poetry and loves her background (and later in his acting career, goes on to play the only true version of Sherlock Holmes).

Vertigo has always been one of my favorite films, but it's not a romance! It's a movie about obsessions, psychosis, and murder.

And The African Queen? That's one of those cranky, "I hate you! No, I love you!" movies, but it's about two white people on a boat in Africa, yelling at each other about obnoxious idiosyncratic behavior while swatting mosquitos.

Honestly, AFI? Do you even know what romance is? Do you want to know what love is? Excuse me a minute while I slip into something more, shall I say, comfortable? Why don't you wait on that bear skin rug and pop a bottle of Dom. Let me turn on some smooth jazz and dim the lights. Now that I've got your attention, AFI, let me persuade you...

This list must be revised. When love is truly captured, whether romantic, familial, or platonic, it's an amazing accomplishment of film making. My list is as follows, with explanations.

1. Before Sunrise/Before Sunset
I feel that Robert Linklater realizes a connection that's based on a true understanding of world views. The characters consider each other's opinions, and respect and appreciate them. Yes, this breaks my rule of love-in-a-day, in each case, but the movies are not just about the lust of the characters. It's about a profound love that all humans have for connecting to another person. We look for that everywhere from when we are born to the day we die, and these films capture two people who, whether they've found it or not (curse you ambiguous fade-out!), are inspired by the search.

2. You Can Count on Me

Believe me, I'm not a follower of the Freudian or Greek tenets of twisted family love, nor do I think Matthew Broderick is a leading man. This movie is all about the love between a brother and sister, which is rarely portrayed accurately...usually there are just a lot of nuggies. But in this film she's scared, she's overprotective, she's his mother and friend and voice of reason. He, on the other hand, is the only person who will always understand her. It's not romance, but it's love, and I think that Kenneth Lonergan is a genius at depicting the nuance of a brother-sister bond: it's like knowing a guy who is simultaneously your best friend and an obnoxious geek who you can't shake. (¡Te amo, hermancito!)

3.

No, actually, I'm out of examples. How many times do we have to see the "meet-cute" and listen to the Celine Dion before Hollywood learns how to capture love? And, once and for all, right here on the blogulator, I'm officially rejecting the term "chick flick" as a descriptor of a film that focuses on love instead of violence, horror, intrigue, action, or comedy. Yes, "chick flick" can continue to be used in reference to base forms of fluffy entertainment, but must be replaced for movies that capture love and more sentimental emotions. Because those movies shouldn't be just for girls. I'm sure even the jaded horror/anime/rockumentary buffs on the blogulator staff know a good human drama when they see it (or when I force them to). From now on you can call those movies, that capture love in any form and make you stop and consider the human condition and our predilection for comfort and romance, a more descriptive term:

"feel reel."

And this Thanksgiving, readers, I'll be thankful for you. But not in a romantic way. Gross.

Wedding Meat/Stuff

Minneapolis seems abuzz over a certain wedding. I believe Harmony married Soul? I think I went, and I think I ate salmon on a stick, so, okay, yeah, I'll play along.

Many of you know I hold certain feelings towards weddings. I realize the social need for marriage, as do I accept that most humans possess things called "emotions," a concept which has been stolen from me by my brother, Lore.


However, I guess I'm kind of like Dexter in this case, not only in the way that I contradicted myself in the previous paragraph, but also in the way that I have no personal perspective on what makes normal humans enjoy the marriage part of the wedding. As I said before, the salmon kebab part is awesome.

However again, NOBODY likes to read about social philosophies on the internet. If they did, Daniel Dennett would be a rock star; or at least he would be if people were to look out of their caves and realize that rock is not all that surrounds them.
EVERYBODY likes pop culture opinions. Here, then, are my top pop weddings, which infer the popping of more than champagne bottles if you know what I mean (balloons).

1. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer: The Trailer
I didn't actually see this movie, but I did see a full-length version of it via the wedding scene being shown as a theater preview for an entire year. When I think about it, I also probably missed a full-length feature due to these trailers, as I would lapse into a bore-coma until the first explosion of whatever movie I was actually trying to watch. Still, the presence of one Brian Posehn as the priest managed to blow my mind every single time.


Maybe I'm missing some kind of insane analogy, seeing as how this Fantastic Four was written by one of the Twin Peaks creators. If not, though, I have to conclude that Sir Posehn must have the best agent in the biz (which is also how he earned both his knighthood and the right to abbreviate "business"). He's a funny enough guy, sure. He's not a comic-movie priest. Nor did he belong anywhere near the zero-progress mess that was The Devil's Rejects. Nevertheless, there he is, listening to the Spin Doctors, which is a Sarah Silverman reference for my friend Wipert.

2-naught. The Lion King
Hold on. We actually missed the wedding scene in this one. Simba went from throwing his uncle to the African wolves (that's what I metaphorically call hyenas) to lifting up his son for all to see and bow down to. Being a huge Nala fan, I cannot begin to express my disappointment that the full wedding day and night was not captured on some kind of video.

3. The Little Mermaid - The first wedding
Was there a second wedding, with Ariel marrying Eric? Or did we get screwed out of that, too? Whatever. The first wedding rocked. You people who had your ceremony in an art gallery -- that was cool. You didn't, however, have your bride turn into an octopus and shoot across the floor in an almost Ring-like fast crawl, and, for that, I will never forgive you. Did I mention that I liked the salmon sticks, though? They were okay. Mostly I think I was just surprised that they were salmon and not chicken. You got me!

That's it. I can't think of any other wedding scenes I've cared about. I know our generation venerates American Wedding as the classic, but I schmoo-ed (it's like booing) everything in that movie that wasn't January Jones. Oh man. Can you imagine a wedding where January Jones, Nala, and the girl from The Ring all got married? I'd watch that with a funny hat on!

I do.

Since I've arrived at the animated tangent I was aiming for, I would like to introduce my new segment entitled, "Hey Anime is Okay, Magic Flower!" Not having a job can get you into some weird things when you're a guy like me who is not going to get into yoga. Thus I started to watch some of the anime Time Warner had on demand. Surprise! A lot of it is weird (although the fact that anime is a vast and varied medium deserves emphasis), yet I am also weird, so I like weird. Hear me out, or I will burn your pumpkin patches!

What I discovered in my anime (re?)birth was, firstly, animation that is vastly improved over the Grimm's Fairy Tale crap Nickelodeon fed us, as well as the Pokemon crap that gets all the exposure (PS I'll talk about how much I love Pokemon in another post. PS I love you). My second and more important discovery was that these shows are telling fantastical, inspired stories that would never get a second glance - much less a first - from American producers. The philosophy level in some of these programs is enough to make Daniel Dennett cry metaphysical tears (they alternate dimensions as they fall).

Dossier time! (This is part of "Hey Anime is Okay, Magic Flower!")

Elfen Lied (pronounced all German-like --> LEED)
This thirteen-episode series (available on NetFlix) was the first in my recent (re?)introduction to anime. It's not my favorite, though it has its qualities. The biggest attractions here are incredible scenes in which the "diclonious" (oft-naked girls with horns and invisible arms) slice people up with their hidden appendages. The biggest negatives are the not-so-seamless compositions of humor and horror that the series tries to achieve, as well as what even I as a pervert would call gratuitous nudity. My general mantra regarding animated nakedness is "Get into it or get over it," but God Himself can wince from time to time. $ (Dollar signs always end the anime segment.)

And with that, I once more congratulate the happy couple!

*************************************
TV Reminder: To anyone who has watched through Season 2 of Battlestar Galactica (I think that's you, Dave), the movie-length corollary Razor premieres this Saturday. To anyone who hasn't watched through Season 2, I urge you not to watch this as it will spoil plot points of a show that should not be spoiled (spoilt?) Anyway, get busy with Season 1. There's almost no new TV. Do it!

2007 American Music Awards

By now you're probably sick of hearing about Brigitte and Qualler's wedding. So tonight, instead, lets talk about some of the things Lady Amy will do in your home if you let her house/dog-sit while you're on your honeymoon:

1) I will make dinner (with YOUR food) in the buff. That's a given.
2) I will attempt to wear every article of clothing you own simultaneously - (a more daunting task than one would think)
3) I will throw a party and break one of your new plates, then run to Crate and Barrel to replace it only to find out they have discontinued that model. I will then buy the nearest match I can find and hope you don't notice when you get back.
4) I will assume your collective identity and be caught by the police, but finagle my way out of jail time by flirting with the judge.

Let's just say, the Quallers will have a very interesting homecoming.


2007 American Music Awards half-heartedly hosted by Jimmy Kimmel

Sunday night at the Quallers and the only thing on television is the American Music Awards. I was going to switch it off but out of the corner of my eye I caught Jimmy Kimmel tackling Kid Rock and decided to watch. Because of the Writers Guild strike, Kimmel wasn't supposed to write any jokes ahead of time - and believe me he didn't. The improv was about as good as a high school theater department playing "freeze" to warm up before a show.

The infrequent, ad-libbed appearances included awkward dances with former American Idols, jokes about 14 year-olds having sex, and non-jokes said in funny voices about Beyonce's dad beating him up.

Not that I think Jimmy Kimmel is a particularly funny person to begin with, but maybe, just maybe, he misunderstood the terms of the writers strike. Perhaps he thought they were striking comedy altogether and thus attempted to make a complete fool out of himself rather than put any effort into an impromptu performance.


Sugarland covers Irreplaceable

And apparently it's not the first time:

I must say I was disappointed Sunday night to see that Beyonce not only knew Sugarland was butchering her song, but actively supported it by joining them on stage. If there's anything more blasphemous than a jug band, bluegrass cover of a Beyonce song, it's Beyonce attending the ho-down.


On the upside:

Chris Brown performed a superb rendition of "Kiss Kiss" including a crew of dancers, who I assumed were all dressed up as glow-in-the-dark spiders, doing Michael Jackson-esk moves in unison. Even better was the last 30 seconds of the song when three of the glow-in-the-dark spiders danced while suspended from the ceiling a la Mission Impossible style. Tom Cruise, eat your heart out!

Therapeutic Movie Prioritizing for the Obsessed

I have not seen a movie in the theater since The Darjeeling Limited. I feel like I'm about to hyperventilate. Three weeks?! I don't remember the last time I've let myself go that long, dearest cinema. And now 2007 is coming to a close! I have to start readying my best-of list! Calm down self, calm down. It will be okay. Even though Control and Wristcutters: A Love Story are both ending tonight, some progress can still be made. Let's try to prioritize - rank the movies that you want to see (basically everything that's not Bee Movie or Fred Claus) and then try to work your way through that list the best you can.

1. No Country for Old Men

Coen brothers plus 93 on Metacritic equals must-see for movie nerds. Hype may kill it - doesn't seem that special from trailer. Don't get any sense of the trademark black humor that makes the directors notable from other neo-noir filmmakers. Judge for yourself. Predicted Grade: A-.

2. Southland Tales

Thought it was just going to be a hilariously bad horror movie about a killer rabbit, but Donnie Darko changed your life at 18. A follow-up about the downfall of American celebrity-obsessed society starring The Rock and Sarah Michelle Gellar that is preceded by a graphic novel series piques my interest just as much as it sounds like self-aggrandizing meta-meta-pop-trash (think Tank Girl). Predicted Grade: A- for first 10 minutes, D+ overall.

3. Michael Clayton

Sean said it was good. George Clooney is a lawyer and runs in the woods. I don't have any idea what's going on in the trailer, but it looks dramatic as all get out. Predicted Grade: B.

4. Before the Devil Knows You're Dead

Director Sidney Lumet made possibly the best heist movie ever - Dog Day Afternoon. Here's another, but Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Ethan Hawke rob their mom and dad's store. Like that scene in Bottle Rocket, except suspenseful instead of funny and for an entire movie's length. Predicted Grade: B-.

5. American Gangster
6. Lars and the Real Girl
7. Lust, Caution

Three movies that sound good in theory, but once you start thinking about them, are probably going to be merely mediocre. Epic gangster movie - oh wait, bland and directed by Ridley Scott, who hasn't made a good movie since Blade Runner. Dreamboat Ryan Gosling falls in love with a blow up doll - oh wait, kinda boring and a sweet joke that could get stale inside 15 minutes. Beautifully crafted love story from Ang Lee, aka the director of the greatest romance film of the 00s - oh wait, its beauty probably stems from its sllllloooooowwwwwww pacing. Predicated Grades: C / C- / C+.

8. P2
9. Beowulf

Two movies I only want to see for novelty reasons. 1) It's a slasher movie that takes place in a parking garage - like that episode of Seinfeld, only hilariously scary. 2) Creepily realistic CGI versions of famous actors pretending to be mythic monsters and/or heroes from my high school Brit Lit I class. Predicted Grades: D- for both.

10. Dan in Real Life
11. Lions for Lambs

I don't even think I could watch these movies and come out of them calling either innocuous. #s 5-7 above I think would be innocuous. These are just painfully full of hot air. I like Steve Carrell as much as the next guy and I can turn my mind off every once in a while for a light no-frills and unobtrusive romantic comedy, but I just feel more comfortable watching it on TBS. Otherwise it just feels dirty. And wrapping myself up in Tom Cruise and Robert Redford spouting emphatically about the war sounds ironically like a nice (if only hilariously over-the-top) melodramatic diversion from the rest of life, but did you know this movie's only 88 minutes? I really can't tell if that's a good thing or not. Predicted Grades: F for both.

and Heather lives on.

Ladies and gentlemen of the blogugation (congregation), I present to you for the first time...Mrs. Qualler! Imagine something a bit like Ms. Pacman--I look just like Qualler, only I have a bow in my head.

As I sit in my home, glance at my newly purchased luggage set, watching Everybody Loves Raymond and wondering where my youth went, I'd like to begin by bringing up a recent phenomenon. Our recent wedding could have been directed by Sofia Coppela: the music and party scenes were great, the guests had costumes and props, and the setting was a modern art museum.
Here's an actual photo from the rehearsal:

Photos from this sacred and blissful event were almost immediately posted on what is now becoming the very thing which holds the fabric of our youth society together: Facebook. I have to admit, I didn't feel that the marriage was quite official until Qualler and I changed our relationship status. This social network once divided the young from the old, so what happens now that the photo albums no longer revolve around raging Friday night parties and instead showcase weddings, honeymoons, quiet evening spent with friends, and even our children? Weird, man. Sunrise, sunset, and all that jazz.

Moving on to this week's episode of ANTM, I have to say I am shocked and not surprised at the same time. Heather (our autistic friend and a favorite of the producers as she never fails to pull in the ratings) had a TERRIBLE episode. She did extremely poorly in the challenge (she forgot her lines in the runway showcase) and then didn't do so hot (pun intended, the photo shoot involved a burning car) in her photo shoot. And yet not only was she not eliminated, she wasn't even in the bottom two! The panel of judges didn't have a harsh word to say about her, other than "this wasn't her best week." Tyra even said "Heather's hot!" when reviewing her mediocre photo. Now, I'd hate to be the one to cry conspiracy or favoritism, but COME ON. She was terrible, and I love the girl! I was glad that she wasn't eliminated, however much she might have deserved it. Instead they eliminated some girl whose name I can't remember.

Hooray for Heather? I still love her, and very much want her to win, but...something about it now leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

A sour taste, similar to Sour Patch Kids! Only, not so yummy...Now that I think about it, in many ways, America's Next Top Model is like sour patch kids. I don't really enjoy how they make me feel, and the tiny bit of goodness which is the sugar sprinkled on top is really overpowered by the sour. But, if someone's passing around some little colorful candies, I'm going to take a handful.

So what's all sweet without the sour? Gossip Girl, which is quickly becoming my very favorite new show. So much sugar! I almost can't stand it. Sure, there's nothing really there...but it's so delicious. As if the masked ball episode wasn't wonderful enough, all this who's sleeping with whom drama is just too good. It's so good, in fact, that I can forget that these are all basically the same characters from the O.C., only with more New York style and even bigger bank accounts.

I'd like to say more, but Qualler keeps yelling "why are all the lights so bright? Is this an operating room? No more overhead lights!" so I think that means it's time to go to bed.

Goodnight everybody!

P.S. This Movie Probably Sucks

Yo, readers, Sean here with a fresh post!

This past weekend I finally got around to seeing Michael Clayton (it was great) and the pre-show entertainment left a little to be desired.

For a while movie theaters have been showing trivia and ads while playing pop songs before the previews. The folks at the local Marcus theater have decided that trivia only has to consist of 10 repeating slides.
Did you know that Lord of the Rings featured more fake feet than any other movie? (60,000)
Or that Brad Pitt really enjoys having children? (He's quoted as saying it changed his life)
Wow, what lovely information.. Yeah, I realize these things are going to repeat, and yeah, the ads are going to be the same cause the advertisers pay for them, but at least they could change the songs. The last three movies I've seen (over the course of a month) have all been preceded by that one Snow Patrol song playing. You know, the one that's not about cars, the other new one. It starts with them playing a power chord and then they kind change it, and then change it a little more, then repeat that for three minutes while singing about cuts not healing or some crap and it finally builds to some glorious progression of octaves with strings and stuff? Yeah, that one. They played it three and a half times consecutively before the movie I saw! The first time I thought the song just had a little pause and then restarted up for another dramatic climax of sound only to later realize that it's just on repeat. Uggh!

All song aside, the icing on the cake was the preview for a new, holiday Rom-com, P.S. I Love You, starring Hillary Swank and some Irish dude. The trailer is awesome (in a funny/ironic/cynical way) and I want to share it with you... But I couldn't find it on Apple Trailers... Hmmm, YouTube always has trailers, right? Ahh, here we go!


Hahah, yes! A fan made trailer! With warped widescreen shots cobbled together from different films! And it features Snow Patrol! And it's nicely paced at four minutes, too. I'm pretty astonished anyone out there would go to the work of making a fake trailer for a real film. I guess it's based on a popular book though, a book about letting go and moving on and finding hope..


Check out the actual trailer here (prepare for laughter... and tears):


It's good to see Lisa Kudrow is still alive.
Also, what's with the Irish guy stereotypes?
They're always either abusive alcoholics or charming, carefree young dudes..

Or.. umm, vigilante saints that are totally raw!



That's it for me this week, folks. Cheers.

Married Couples Don't Blog!

. . . and hips don't lie!

So the blogosphere is talking. Minneapolis, the third-most blogged about city in America for 2007, is talking about our wedding!! What are some of the locals saying about our wedding?

"I'm 70 years old and a baby. . . army of the undead. . . Congrats, (Qualler) and Brigitte."
Unspar

". . . (T)he dumbest, absolute worst. . . wedding. . . ever."
Little Qualler

"Well, Qualler's not gay. Pat, you owe me twenty dollars."
Paal

"(Qualler) and Brigitte are the coolest people I’ve ever met."
ChristineOne

Editor's note -- only one of these quotes is actually taken verbatim out of a blog. It's Christine's. Christine, you are the coolest person I've ever met.

Thank you, blogosphere, for the kind words. Brigitte's first dream as part of the Qualler married household involved her and I beating the character Blair from the CW's hit new television series Gossip Girl to DEATH. We had to keep beating her until she was completely dead. Janice Soprano, Tony's sister on HBO's hit television series The Sopranos was a witness, we thought, until we realized she didn't know anything about it. Of course, Janice would do that. Oh, pop culture, marriage, and beatings. They all go together so well.

What I'm trying to say here, and what Brigitte is trying to say but isn't because she's too sick to blog now, is THANK YOU EVERYONE for MAKING OUR WEDDING the MOST INCREDIBLE EVENT EVER! We love you all deeply -- as deeply as Christian Troy loves Sean McNamera on the newly revived hit F/X series Nip/Tuck. And yes, I am loving their new season in Los Angeles, after a D.O.A. fourth season hangover of the "Carver" plotline.

But seriously, everyone. Thank you.

Brenda and Brandon, Frasier and Niles, Christian and Sean, and now, Qualler and Brigitte. It is a match made in pop culture heaven.

I now pronounce you - blogged

After a long weekend of celebrating the union of two fellow bloggers - I'm going through social withdrawal. So I spent most of the day reading my favorite gossip sites trying to cheer myself up, but to no avail.

I've been re-assigned to cover the business and obit sections this week and it's a real bummer. Bad news all around.


Brother, can you spare $23,212,963.83?

Michael Jackson could use a little help with his mortgage payment this month. The Neverland Ranch is in foreclosure.

Rumor has it Brangelina may be preparing to buy the ranch - you know, for the kids (Disclaimer: in my professional opinion as a celebrity gossip reader I sense there may be no truth to this rumor but I'm going to report it anyway).

Though I would tend to agree that Maddox, Pax, Zahara, and Shiloh might love the fair rides and the zoo animals, I wouldn't describe the scene of a child molestation investigation as the perfect place to raise my kids. But that's just me.



RIP Kanye's Mom:


Donda West died Saturday of complications during cosmetic surgery. Kanye frequently rapped about his mother, who was very close to him.



On a related note, this could mean that Kanye won't be performing at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show alongside the recently reunited Spice Girls.

Coming soon.....

Editor's note: Qualler's post is understandably still in the hopper after his wedding with Brigitte this weekend. We will be back tomorrow with a mega-post together. Now that we are one in marriage, we are also one in blog land. Until then, ponder this thought:

Who would win in a fight between George Clooney as Batman and Fabio as Fabio? Think about it.

TV Midterms are Upon Us, Let Us Critique

No high concept post this time around, folks. Due to bachelor party shenanigans last night, I simply could not muster anything up more than this. Hopefully, it will suffice. Qualler and I were recently bemoaning the fact that so many reviews of television shows judge solely by a pilot or a set of the first 3-4 episodes that the network provides whiny babies that don't actually watch TV. So I thought I'd check in with everyone and let you know what's still worth watching now that there have been about seven eps for most shows this season. I'm going to be terrifyingly brief due to more wedding events to prepare for and attend, but you're going to accept it and wish you were coming to Qualler's wedding. And if you are, you're not invited anymore.

Heroes: Still watching it despite most of the complaints that have arisen: unnecessary romance subplots, unnecessary time-traveling subplots, a lack of progression in the story and lack of development in the characters ad nauseum. I never came close to giving up, because I'm pathetically attached to all of the characters, but this is reason to restore everyone's faith, hopefully. If he went out in the open and said this, he will get a lot of crap if it doesn't actually get better.

Gossip Girl: It is the wind beneath my wings.

Journeyman: I almost always watch the first 10-20 minutes of this show as it follows Heroes, but mostly it's just waiting to see when he will go into the future. But then I remember the terrible special effects budget given to Heroes, so why would they give it to the nu-Quantum Leap? It's the same episode every time (go back in time, save someone's life either figuratively or literally) and they keep hinting at a larger plot that will help propel the show, but now that it's come out in the open, I really don't care anymore.

Aliens in America: I can't help but continue to like this show despite its rampant cutesiness. Luke from Gilmore Girls as the dad though? Can't get enough of it. Yeah, generic being-a-nerd-in-high-school story lines drive the majority of the eps, but its sweetness and slight chuckles, along with the Freaks and Geeks-esque love between friends is what keeps me coming back to The CW's obnoxiously neon-colored video player.

Life: So much charm! This guy has totally rocketed up into my top 5 non-sexual sexy men list. He's so kooky! Seriously though, I still keep coming back for more. It's pretty predictable every time and has a vom-rom vibe to it that doesn't really fit into its existential detective thematics, but when it's on, it's completely entertaining and often has the wittiest dialogue on television right now. Plus I can't get enough of his Buddha-inspired non sequiturs! (Eyelids flutter).

Dirty Sexy Money: Definitely the best new show on television. I don't care if Peter Krause plays a slightly less neurotic version of himself on Six Feet Under, because every other characters makes up for his protagonist tenfold. Sure, the "rich people are people too" mentality can be overpowering at times, but generally, it's good at blurring the line of that ostentatious haute couture message. Maybe these people are actually just incompetent manifestations of the evil of capitalism. It's part of the show's real mystery, aside from the "who killed my father?" subplot that is actually becoming more interesting and interrelated to the rest of the show as it goes on. And the idea that Krause's Nick (unfortunately, Donald Sutherland's name isn't Gatsby) works for this family only to give back to his community using his new fortune is something refreshing for the usually snobberiffic story of the straight guy gets involved with the wealthy and self-involved. Plus they actually name dropped Explosions in the Sky. On Disney's television station. WTF.

30 Rock & The Office: One is the only genuinely good 30-minute show on television, the other used to be and has now been inflated by the powers that be into a downright soap opera with generally and genuinely funny moments. Luckily, the subtle and poignant relationships between characters that used to set The Office apart from other sitcoms is replaced by a sharp and vicious dose of mental insanity in 30 Rock - something that could only be heightened over time (and hopefully never taken away). And yet, we still feel for all the characters (Liz Lemmon's feminist loneliness, Tracy Jordan's instable celebritism) without the subtle looks and glances through a shaky lens that has been romanticized in The Office.

Brides Don't Blog...

...and hips don't lie.

Because this Saturday I officially become Mrs. Qualler, and I'm swiming in wedding fun and last minute details, I'll keep this brief.

I realized that missing last week's episode of America's Next Top Model was NBD (no big deal according to these cellular phone advertisements I keep seeing) because it was A RECAP EPISODE! Sorry, Tyra, even your promise of "never before seen footage" doesn't make this excuse for an episode watchable. Consider yourself deleted, Halloween's ANTM!

This week it was back in full swing, and who gets eliminated? The fat one. Each season (or rather, most seasons) ANTM casts one plus sized model to show how forwardly thinking and "brave" they really are. (I suppose they don't really need a fatty this season, since they've already got an autistic girl, but moving on...)

The token "plus sized" model this season was really just a "not quite skinny enough to be a real model" and as soon as she started losing weight during the filming the judges had to cut her. They pointed out to her that her weight loss is really what hurt her, since she is no longer really marketable as a plus sized model, but still way too big to be America's Next Top Model. So, really, her weight loss hurt her, which, according to Tyra, is great for people to see, since it proves that skinny is not always the best thing in this industry. Wrong, Tyra!! She just still wasn't skinny enough. And, let's face it, she would have been cut soon anyway, so her weight loss is really just a good excuse for the producers.

Here's a little eye candy for the ladies: this week's celebrity guest, with whom the girls danced (re: sexed it up with) in his newest music video.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you someone who is totally still relevant in American pop culture...Enrique Iglesias!

Speaking of relevant, contemporary pop culture icons, here's a Cinemax (moniker Skinimax....or according to Qualler, their "monkier") film description:
Innerspace
PG Movie
Dennis Quaid, Martin Short, Meg Ryan, 1987.
A grocery clerk gets jabbed with a hypodermic holding a miniaturized Air Force pilot and craft (in stereo)

Now, who doesn't have fond memories of watching this movie as a small child? Martin Short is so funny! And what an actor! Just look at his face! Is that not the face of a shrinking man?

And he gets really tiny and goes inside a body...it's great!

Here's a sample from a conversation that I overheard this evening about Innerspace:

Katie: It's just like human body wars at Disney Land but a movie!
Qualler: Yeah but I'd rather go on the ride than watch the movie...
Kaite: It used to be our favorite ride!
Qualler: I actually never went...I heard it makes you throw up.


Thank you Minneapolis, Goodnight!

Meaty Stuff

Being a poultritarian, I don't like to talk about meat so much. It makes me think of all the crying lambs and cows you people eat, while I'm guilt-free, eating my smiling chicken. However, there are three things I have to talk about that are loosely related to meat. What do you think of that? Can you grasp that idea, or are you too ham-handed? That was a meat joke.

1. Taco Bell Commercial - I'm usually an expert at avoiding commercials; however, during the baseball playoffs I set aside my insane flipping abilities for the sake of catching every pitch. This led me to see the same few commercials about one million times (rough estimate). My least favorite was definitely the Charles Schwab A Scanner Darkly crap, where "everyday people" recite how awesome the Schwab is and how much attention he gives normal customers.

Is this screencap from an annoying commercial series, or a movie that failed to live up to its trailer?

F Charles Schwab. I'm happy investing my stocks with the real star of A Scanner Darkly, Winona Ryder's animated breasts. With breasts as my brokers, I admit my portfolio is a bit too dependent on the dairy industry, and my checks do tend to bounce. Still, my broker can take a licking and keep on ticking, and that's something I can wrap my hands around fondly.

So yeah, Taco Bell. You've probably seen this commercial, but if not, here's the brief: A Jack Black wannabe (I shall call him Nacho Bibre) tells his younger brother three rules to live by:

Don't date girls with dragon tattoos.
Don't get a small dog.
Always get chili on your Nachos Bell Grande.

The set-up is already tenuous, given that the code includes two negatives and a positive. What ultimately results is even worse, punishing the viewer with the most ambiguous ending since Pan's Labyrinth. A girl with a dragon tattoo appears (the girlfriend, we assume, since she is in Nacho Bibre's house - either that or the guy is so concentrated on his own rules that he ignores the breaking of more common societal rules, like "home invasion" and "the law"). Second, the girl gives Nacho Bibre a toy dog, telling him to walk "his dog." Whoa. So this girl almost certainly is his girlfriend, and this dog almost certainly is his dog. The first two tenets of living have been broken in a matter of seconds. Nacho Bibre and his brother are stunned, as is the audience after the director then cuts away to clips of how awesome nachos with chili is. No logical path has been traveled, and Robert Frost would be pissed (or pleased, if you agree that his poem makes equally zero sense - Chris can explain). We don't know whether this guy has given us rules that are good, meaning we shouldn't eat nachos with chili. We don't know if Nacho Bibre only wanted us to follow the final, positive rule, and therefore encoded the first options negatively so as to protect us when the hilarious (?) conclusion of his own insufficiency was revealed. We don't know anything.

If you don't like beef, though, don't order this chili-topped crap.

2. Zombie Romance Mystery (ZomRomMys, not to be confused with ZomRomCom's the likes of Shaun of the Dead).

I don't have much to say on this subject other than what is inherently said in its existence. CBS heroically green-lighted a television pilot that fits into this genre. Devastatingly for both us as Americans and Amber Tamblyn's wallet (as a would-be star and benefactor), Babylon Fields was not picked up. The glory of the internet has *ahem* brought this show back from the dead, in the sense that we can at least experience moments of its brilliance. You can enjoy my favorite clip ("Post-coital zombie brags about the erectile enhancing benefits of being dead") and learn more about the hour-of-pure-joy-that-could-have-been at the link in the previous sentence. You can also be enchanted by the clip located below, which encapsulates the whole cop/mystery aspect of the show. Enchant!



3. Resident Evil

If you haven't notice, I've connected zombies with meat. Not only does their rotten flesh reveal the animal substance our souls struggle to rise above, they also taste delicious once the infection is broiled off. DO NOT EAT THE BRAIN! IT CAN NEVER BE UNINFECTED! One man's delicassy is another man's doom, given that the first man is undead. Also, kids need to learn that eating other people's brains is not a legitimate way to gain knowledge. Sylar is a fictional character and a bad role model.

Give life, Sylar! The gift of life!

Resident Evil allows me to nerd out for a second, albeit nerd out on a series that has inexplicably (to me) become a popular movie franchise. I've seen sections of the first two movies in commercial-drowned bits on basic cable, and I'm noo soo impressed. The death scene where the guy is lasered up into hundreds of cubes does rock, yes, and it rocks hard, yes, but the tense suspense of the game is lacking. This is no surprise. In a video game, cheap scares like zombie dogs jumping through windows work, because your avatar actually can die. In a movie, we know the hero is going to live at least until the end, especially if the hero is a chick like Milla Jovovich (who just had her first child... zombie congrats!). A simple plot - like an evil corporation creating the zombinating infection - can thus support a good game, as long as the gameplay is entertaining. In a movie, this plot wears thin fast and is quickly covered up by action sequences - sequences that often skimp on effects because the studio knows a video game movie isn't going to rake in the dough. It's a vicious circle of bad cinema, and despite the Resident Evil movies falling into it, they are somehow succeeding?

I'm as confused as a man looking at a Taco Bell menu. Bring back the chihuahua.

Hello all! I'm happy to be back on track this evening with my regular blogging habit of watching Heroes while posting. I have no idea what is going on in the show anymore but I do know that the TV had a lot of green tint this evening (which I later discovered had more to do with NBC's green week than a defect in the television).

Now, normally I cover the celebrity gossip beat but this week I actually watched something other than Access Hollywood.


SNL:

In the past couple of years, SNL has been unbearable to watch. The sketches had no punchlines and went on far longer than the small thread of funniness could possibly carry them. But this season the show has been starting its upswing slowly but surely by writing sketches that are simple but effective. Here's an example from Saturday's show:




See? Simple punchlines = a guaranteed laugh.




Hillary Clinton throws a Halloween party and everyone thinks she's a witch and/or wants to be her Vice President. Then Barack Obama shows up and it's totally awkward - awkward for a full five minutes and 17 seconds. Now that's comedy...or not.

All in all, I'm very optimistic for the rest of this SNL season - at least the episodes that have been written before the big writer's strike. Oh, I sure hope they won't be rerunning last year's episodes!


Speaking of the Writer's Strike:

Maybe it's just me, but it's kind of weird to see the likes of Tina Fey and Seth Meyers on a picket line. Somehow, that's just not the image that I conjure up when I think of a strike.



Maybe One Celebrity Gossip Item for the Road:

Christina Aguilera is pregnant! Who would have guessed that she would turn out more normal than Britney Spears?